Citation Needed

Where I talk about nothing.

2010-04-02T23:41:00.002-05:00

I've been contemplative for quite awhile. I'm not all too sure why. I feel like arguing, but not an angry arguement. Almost like I want to fight for a cause, but don't know just what. Everything that I believe in, someone else already does and has better words for describing why they're right. The only time I ever get to join the fray is with someone in passing, relatives or something close to that matter. And even then, I've done nothing. I've spoken only words.

Helping customers at work is a mixed bag. If I get a customer asking me about anything in my department that isn't basic external HDD, basic networking info, or info that literally requires me to read the box of what they're buying, IE "Excuse me, does this work with this" *reads box* "yes."

How ever, if someone strays over from the video game section, or I happen to be over near the computers or software, I'm able to answer questions like crazy. It's crazy. Oh well.

I think this is it for me, this should make up for the missed day. Two different posts with their own formula. I'm gonna try and actually write fiction, get it here and up at deviantart.

Round two. FIGHT

2010-04-02T23:28:00.002-05:00

I missed yesterday. Bout to miss today. Let's do this.

I have nothing to blogg about. Yesterday I didn't blog because, in short, I forgot. When I get home I'm to do a video blog, but you know what? I'm probably not going to. Being almost forced to be in front of a keyboard typing is a good way to get me to get some writing done, something I should probably do in the first place.

Well, since I'm watching it, I might as well blog about anime. I'm not too sure about who I have to blame, but they have brought back an old obsession of mine that was fueled solely by Toonami. With the age of the internet in full bloom, I am now able to once again satisfy this hunger. With the aide of a few good friends in my search for my anime, and torrents to get me back in touch with my childhood past, I've gotten myself to a point where my hobby of street fighter and this are conflicting. I haven't played a good round of that in quite awhile.

Then again, having a job might also be a good role in this, but it goes both ways. Maybe I'm just bored with normal SF4 and am currently waiting for Super. I'm going to assume that's what it is. I know I still have this passion to fight, I can feel it in me. So we'll just wait and see.

As for now, I suppose this is my intro, so to speak. I make no promises, but I'll attempt to blog again tonight. I want to get some more writing done before the end of this weekend. But it won't just be posted here. It will go here http://ajtucker22.deviantart.com/ and all of my past writing has also found it's way there. Even stuff that I have not posted there.

Maybe that alone will enable me to not need to do a writing blog, but actually do a vblog. Who knows. But for now, I really have to poop.

Oh shit....

2010-01-26T04:47:00.001-05:00

2 years back, I wrote a song for winter-een-mas. Well, it's that time of year again, and I found that song. So, here it is, in all it's glory.

Ok, so we're at work and this is pretty gay, I cant believe this is part of my winter-een-mas day
But I know that once I get home, those lights will turn green, and then we will see who truely means- it
when they say that they are the top gamer, we'll see just exactly who has the magic fingers
we will see exactly who is best. And we'll see who dominates all the rest.
BUT, its not enough whether you win or lose, cause then that sepperates people, thats segregation foo'
But no, this is a holiday of unity
to bring close all the gamers, just like you and me.

Chorus: up up down down left right left right B A start (repeat. Alot)

Got it. People dont understand the way we think, they think we're immature, they think we stand for sheet, but
We all no alot better then that, its more then giant swords to kill a giant rat
its more then one big gun to bring down one big bug
its more then shooting guys after they stole your drugs
its about the things we're taught, and the things we know
these games get you thinking, more then a bad way, SO
lets all grab a controller, its starting to load, and please beat that game first before you put in a cheat code LIKE

*Chorus*

Well.....I got one more verse to portray to you
the spirit of winter-een-mas as its tryed and true
so whether you're on a 360, or the getting better PS3
Or maybe you got lucky this year, and are toting a Wii
whether its Halo or Bwii, ratchet or Kane
Advance wars on the DS, or simply some max payne
Detroying in Tetris, or getting destroyed in blizzard's "Crafts"
or Call of Duty:4, owning noobs in the masses
Alone or in group, a LAN or online
Merry winter-een-mas to all, and to all a good game!

I'm not trying to sound so incensere.

2010-01-01T04:18:00.002-05:00

Well, we're in the future now with our flying cars and our floating computers and moon travel and whatnot. Wait, we're not? WELL FUCK!

Usually I make a new years resolution thingy mabob to like "pass my classes" or something else that's dumb. But last year I made a bit of a different one. I made a new years resolution to be happy? And you know what?

I did it. Theirs not much else to say. I don't have another new years resolution. I think my next resolution is to just be as good of a friend (and boy friend) as I can possibly be. If anyone ever needs me, needs someone to just talk to or a ride somewhere, or even a place to stay, I'm a phone call away.

An explanation.

2009-12-25T03:39:00.002-05:00

I feel like I need to explain, to myself, just why this christmas is different from the last, aside from age and the fact that I have a girlfriend.

I have nothing to do right now. For the past four years, every christmas eve I would literally stay up all night playing one game and just not sleeping. Something I was hoping to do again this year. Last year it was, I think, a combination of WoW and COD:WAW. The 3 years before that, most likely WoW. Possibly even the year before those, not sure.

Anyways, this year I have nothing to play. No game to extend my reach to the masses, no chat to dwelve into, nothing. And I hate it. What I hate even more is how great of a time I had today. Which sounds fucked up, I know. This is how my day went.

I woke up, talked to my mom, got ready, wrapped gift and left. We got to chels's house and exchanged gifts while her two little cousins (I think?) got their gifts and just had fun. Gifts were exchanged between their family and then we went to church. After church we just sort of lounged around and then went to a member of her family's house where assorted cousins, uncles and grandparents were (grand parent?) where we talked, ate, talked some more and gifts were once again exchanged. And then I got to play DJ hero. But aside from that, I did not touch a console. Which is weird for me, because this is how my christmas eve usually goes.

Wake up, get on game until the next day, only stopping to help my mom cook or to talk to brother when they arrived and have them join in on the game playing. Other then that, I pretty much don't do anything. And for me to this year go out and actually do what seems like normal families do is alien to me. Whats worse, I enjoyed myself. I had a good time, no, a GREAT time.

The only down side is I now no longer have her by my side. And with that, I have no game to play. Nothing to keep me awake through the dead of night so that the taunt of knowing I have to wake up at 7 or 8, and not too later so that I miss presents and not too early so that I can't wake them up and not have to go back to sleep, thats not there. I can just play and play and play and when I feel like looking at the clock and seeing, oh hey I have a few hours left, lets do a BG to kill the time, or I can do a raid and leave halfway through if I want. Or even not noticing until my mom wakes up to cook. I don't have that. I have to go back to sleeping and hope I don't sleep too late. Or if I can even fall asleep at all.

New nerd rant, yay!

2009-12-23T06:13:00.002-05:00

Let's talk about sleep.

I love sleep. If for only one reason I'm not afraid of death, it's because if there is no after life, I'm completely content with just sleeping for forever. If I didn't have friends or a girlfriend, I'd be completely fine with never having to wake up. On the bad side, I've gained what I'm getting increasingly sure of is a bad habit, if not an unhealthy one.

No matter what time I go to bed at night, I won't wake up till 2:00 PM unless woken up. Tuesday night I was dead tired, I had woken up at 9:00 (after going to bed at 3:00), driven to the galleria, was downtown till like, 8, came home and fucked, then chels went home and I went to bed at like, 9 or 10. And I was dead tired. I was supposed to go to her house for a bit, but I was falling asleep and it was way too unsafe for me to drive anymore. So I passed out, literally. I don't remember anything after kissing her goodnight as she walked to her car. I remember texting her in the morning, not knowing what time it was, thinking i was going to stay up, and then passing out again. That was at like, 8:00. Then at magical time, lisa texted me about game night and I somehow told her I would go. I don't remember doing that, but I knew I had said I would go. Then at 2:00 I woke up.

It's always 2:00. ALWAYS.....

I've had days where I knew it was unimportant, and knew I was going to see chels at like, 5:00 so I wanted to go to bed late and sleep till she came over. So, I'd go to bed at like 5:00 and then I would wake up at 2:00 and be completely rested. Fuck you, body. Right now, theirs no reason for me to be up. But you know what time I'm going to get up? 2:00. yaaaay. Lets see if we can see where this began.

Back in the day, I remember bragging cause I had stayed up till 12:00. This was like, 4th grade. Fuck you, 4th grade me. Then, in like 5th grade, I remember bragging about staying up all night long. That was fun. Then we would try it again and pass out around 2:00. Thats what time I go to bed normally, now. Around the time I started playing WoW, well thats when it got bad. I'd stay up really fucken late. I'm pretty sure thats how all this truly began.

This post is really just fueling my addiction to staying up and sleeping. Tomorrow I have literally nothing to do, I'll probably just go over to jasons and make remarks of the sexual kind, then do innappropriate things to kris when he isn't looking.

On this note, I don't think you people realize just how horrible of a person I am. For the most part, I don't talk, but the numerous upon numerous of horrible looks I recieved from lisa, daniel and taylor today really reminded me of that.

Not john though, johns cool.

Not you kris

Oh wait, kris doesn't read this blogg.

So this one time, kris found a magic apple. The apple asked him "What is one thing you really want right now?" and Kris said "Holy shit, you can talk! I wanna be like you!" but the apple mistook him and turned him into an apple, instead of magic. Then kris had to convince a girl to kiss him and he would turn into a prince, but instead she ALSO turned into an apple, and they both went into a swamp and found an alligator that sings and also wanted to be human again, and it was all one big racist thing towards black people. Then Disney got ahold of it and changed EVERYTHING OF MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION!

Shit, I'm becoming taylor.

I love keith. (kieth? kethe? Pretty sure that first one is right.) He really does live the life I want to. You guys make fun of me for it, but I really am one big child. I love playing with legos, I like to shoot nerf guns, I play video games all the time, I'm excited I got a sword, I love candy, I'm a big fucken kid. And I don't care. My girlfriend is the same way. And when we move in, we're just gonna have toys everywhere and play all the time. It will be fun.

This thread is getting off topic. So I'm gonna talk about the even further progression of myself in SF4.

I watched some videos of my playing around thanksgiving time, and even now I can see so much improvement in myself. Kara throwing on it's own has improved my game by quite a bit. Also, walking up to someone as they're getting up and getting in a "meaty" attack (which is using the start up frames of your move while they're getting up so that as soon as they're attack-able, you immediately hit them or they block. That way if they try and grab or attack with something that doesn't have invinceable frames, they'll get hit) is seriously one of the best things anyone could have taught me. Before that, me and probably everyone else can only think of one way to get in.

Jump in.

In all reality, jumping in is the WORST way to get in, mainly because you're giving up your ability to block. Walking in is great because it's so unexpected, especially walking up and grabbing, which ken does best BECAUSE of kara throw. Fireball xx FADC is a pretty bad way to get in with ken because his fireball is kinda shitty. If you get the spacing right, jumping in for a cross up is nice if only because it sets you up for a few things.

A)Cross up hits.

B) Cross up is blocked, but the blockstun lasts long enough for you to get in the rest of the combo. Sometimes they don't block low and you get the combo anyways.

C) If they do block low, you continue the combo, then tick throw with kara throw.

D) if they know kara throw, you bait it, then make them eat a SRK, and start the mix up game all over.
E)If they're getting used to you continuing the combo, just grab right after the blocked cross up.

F) Or you can change the combo a little bit, making it shorter or longer, and grab at different times.

G) Fake a cross up and hit forwards

H) Do the ambiguous cross up (see here) which can really confuse people, and make them make dumb decisions

I) Just dont do anything and let them try to reversal you.

Theirs so many options here, where only a short time ago all I could think of was hopefully hit them or hit them while blocking until they get far enough away to try again.

FADC ultra is like NOTHING to me now. I'm trying to learn a new link that not many people do because it's tough, but then again not many people do FADC ultra with ken cause it's tough also, so knowing that makes me feel good. I wanna be able to pull out stuff that no one knows about and fuck shit up.

I can't wait to get back online and see where I'm at. It's exciting. I learned so much from this one tournament.

Also, theirs no TP in this bathroom. FUCK

Let's talk about being a gamer.

2009-12-21T02:57:00.002-05:00

A rant before I wander off into sleep, and because theirs some good music playing and I don't want it to go to waste. Let's start from something I believe to be essential. Where it all began.

Out of pure spite and also admirance of my brothers. What you people know of to be the people I call my brothers used to be completely different. In that, they were dicks. And in being dicks, they were also my "parents", as my real parents were never truelly around. So, watching them play games, thats what I wanted to do. I'm a gamer by inheritance, and therefore by nature. Either because I just wanted to piss them off by occupying the system when they had just rented a game, or because I had just rented a game and knew they were only just occupying the system, I had a strong desire to play. Which soon created an even stronger desire to win.

When the SNES was out, there was a huge lack of multiplayer games, an even bigger lack of competitive games, and an even further gap of multiplayer competitive games that I was competent at. The N64, in a sense changed this, and with that came about the almost NEED to become the best. Though, you could never show it. You could never boast you were the best with out being somewhat ironic, otherwise you were "taking it too seriously", though everyone knew just how important it was to be the best. Or maybe that was just me, being the smallest and having to prove myself in any way shape or form. Either way, 007, mario kart 64, smash bros, and many more all reset the proving grounds of who had their moment of fame in the house that night. Who could sleep more soundly knowing that the others couldn't. Who could get bragging rights to the console next so that they could get in more time so that they could get better. In a sense, even though I didn't grow up in the arcade scene the way others did, I still had that idea of "if you win, you keep playing". In short, you really had to want it.

Lets fast forward into the future. I'll keep this as less about street fighter 4 as possible, so lets start with my brother Joshua, and smash bros. Before Luis left the house and began the sepperation of us all, the order in Smash bros, and therefore of all games, or so it was perceieved, was Josh, Luis and then myself. We could all argue otherwise, but once it game down to controllers being in hand, thats how it truely played out. After awhile, I became second, but somehow, SOMEHOW, my brother joshua remained 1st. Even though he was the only "non gamer", and I have yet to this day to figure out how he did that. Now adays thats changed, if only because he barely touches the game, but then again neither do I. So who knows.

On the note of smash bros, I like many other fighting game enthusiasts do not take it seriously enough. This is sort of a sub-story to my entire rant but this is how it goes down. Smash players (both melee and brawl) don't take any other fighter seriously. Everyone else doesn't take smash seriously. It's actually really amusing. Of course, I side with the non smash, though I will say that melee is much better of a competitive game then brawl is. On this same note, just because you play Brawl does NOT make you a gamer. Onto my next rant, non-ganers who play games.

Playing Halo does not make you a gamer. Playing MWF2 does not make you a gamer. Playing GoW does not make you a gamer. These all make you a bro gamer, or what ever derogatory term you want to use at the time. Playing Smash, along with all of these, does not make you a gamer either. Well, brawl anyways, you can have your fits with Melee since this is done on a much lesser scale with melee and has nothing but elitists fucks who think they're the shit. Brawl is nothing more then one giant fanservice. Ironically, many "gamers" who play brawl are also the same people who played one or two sonics on either the GCN or Dreamcast and entranced them so much that they made themselves a sonic character. Read: furry. Or even just anime nerds. Somehow brawl attracts them also. Either way, these people are not gamers, they are just people who like one game, know the history of other games (read:JRPGS) but don't know the joy of beating a final boss. Don't know the joy of anything in those games aside from the story. Bah to them, I say! Though, they did find one game that they enjoy the gameplay of. One that caters to the new, the young, the un experienced, in short, a game dumbed down by those who thought they deserved a chance at high stake wins with out wanting to put in all the time and practice. Sound familiar Blizzard?

I won't even get into how pissed I get when WoW players think themselves of "hardcore" gamers. Come back 5 years ago, and maybe. But now it's no different then buying shit off of popcap, or getting a DS game/Wii game.

While we're onto this topic of "real gamers" i want to say this. REAL GAMERS ARE NOT PEOPLE YOU CAN MARKET TO!! I hate seeing shirts and things of games that obviously everyone has played, being marketed to "gamers" when really anyone can wear them and not feel dumb. This is a stupid trend that started four years ago, and at the time was cool. We had a way to sepperate ourselves normally. But then everyone started doing it. Being a gamer became "trendy". And you know what real gamers did? We said "fuck that". At this point I'll just be restating what many have said in that, we did not go years being social outcasts to just let everyone be apart of us. No. You have to work just like we did. You have to know your shit. I don't care if you know the konami code. I've never had to use it and I don't know it. Tell me what the boss order and name of the bosses in SMRPG are. Or tell me what the feather does in Zelda, any of them. Tell me why knowing how to do a hadouken or srk is useless info with out textbooks worth of other knowledge. Explain to me the frustration of having shaman gear drop as alliance. What are all of the robot masters weaknesses, in ANY of the megamans. Shit, most of us only ever got one. These make us who we are.

By the way, making something new for gamers, then marketing it at us and saying "all gamers are doing it" is a quick way to get us not to do something. We hate conforming, All of us. I don't know why. Ironically, we also have fanboyisms. If other gamers are doing it and we're not already, then we're not going to do it. What, you got a sega? I hate sega. No I have never played it, but I don't have it, so therefore it sucks. And so do you.

Unrelated, why did the batteries in rumble packs last for years with no replacing? Always confused me. I've been playing alot of old games lately, if only for nostalgia. I'm playing SMRPG right now, and to be completely honest, I'm only doing it so I can hear it's music. I know how everything goes down (for the most part, everynow and then theirs something I've forgotten and I get kinda pissy) but I'm only doing it because I love the music and I just wanna get to the next part to hear some good ole fashioned Square. Also been trying to beat all of the megamans. It's funny, really. I've gotten to the point where I beat Megaman X just because I can. In maybe 2 hours. I did it with the arcade stick just because i wanted to be able to say that i could. And I beat it with 100%, meaning I got every secret item etc. etc. But any of the others? Aw, fuck no. Fuck wily. Why is he more difficult then a robot virus thingy? Fuck him. Fuck is robot masters. I LIKE robot masters shaped like animals.

Also, I predict CAPCOM to be the next EA, or Activision or any other giant gaming corporation. Yeah they're already big but I know they're gonna try and dominate every genre they can.

I'm going to bed now.

I'm dying here.

2009-12-11T00:27:00.002-05:00

I've gone a total of four days with out playing Street Fighter. This was not that big of a deal until today. All the other days, I probably wouldn't have played anyways due to studying. But now? From 4-now, I have had nothing to do. I got my Wii back and as soon as I plugged that in I thought "This will last maybe 6 hours." It's 11:30. I can't hold that damned GCN controller anymore. I want an arcade stick on my lap. I want to play TVC on it, if I'm going to play something. I want to play SF4. Soooo bad.

Heres a little history of me. I have an addictive personality when it comes to video games. Back when we had the N64 and SNES, I would always be playing either Super Metroid, Megaman X, Star Fox 64 or Golden Eye. Later on when smash came out, that was it for me. Only that game, nothing else. When the GCN came out, I knew if I picked up smash it would consume me. So I played and beat Pikmin first. Then smash. Up until when Sonic Adventure 2 battle came out, thats all I played. Then it was the Chao garden for me from like, 5th grade to 8th. Sure there were other games, but I don't remember them. Either I played smash or SA2B. Then we got a computer.... oh sweet jesus. Battle Field 1942 came with our computer, then shortly after that Vietnam came out. If I couldn't find a server on one, I played the other. This went on for a good year.

Then one fateful day for some damned reason, all the servers were done. Something about maintenence. It wasn't tuesday.... so my brother had an idea. "Play this game." he says. I would later find out this was the most assholish move anyone could ever do to me.

Four years. Four fucken years of this damned game. It wasn't even fun the fourth year, but I kept playing. I couldn't stop. The first two years were.... not pretty. Third got bad at a point also. Fuck WoW. I hate it, but love it. I want to play again. But I know if I do, it'll be shit. Because it's a shit game. Too many gimmicks, not enough game. Fuck.

I wish I could say by my own will I stopped playing. But really the game just sucked too much for me to want to play it anymore. Same old shit. Once I figured out what order to do moves for a new class it once again became 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. But not Street Fighter....

This is my new addiction now. And unless KOTOR is fucking godly, I don't see that stopping. I want to be good, no, GREAT at this game. I want to be great at ALL capcom fighting games. But how can I do that with no 360?

This sucks.... I want to play WoW. I want to play street fighter. I want to just.... not be bored. I'm so damned bored.

I know tonight is going to be another sleepless night of me frantically hitting refresh on twitter and forums. Then I'm going to get woken up bright and early, like all of this fucken week. I want a not broken car. I want to go to planet zero.

Man I'm a whiny prick.

I'm gonna take another shower and try to sleep again.

Woops....

2009-12-02T02:10:00.003-05:00

So, I had this awesome plan that when I got home, I was going to start blogging again for BEDD. Which doesn't really exist but uh.... yeah.

December is looking to be a fun month. Sort of. Lets see how all of this works out. Ehh....

Since I missed the first day, I'll just blog twice today. That works, right? Yeah, yeah it does.

I don't have much to say for today. Just at jasons, probably late, playing MWF2. This weekend will prove interesting.

Also, my computer has been making weird sounds. Also going to see how this works out.

Nostalgic son of a bitch.

2009-11-03T03:33:00.002-05:00

I just went through and read everyone's blogg history. About halfway through jason's I started wondering "Why?" and then it hit me. I was doing it purely to attempt to relive highschool.

Taylor's and Jason's were by far the most enjoyable, if only for pure length. It seems like Jason talked about shit that no one but him understood, so I didn't get as much from that as hearing Taylor horribly warp what actually happened that day into what he wanted to happen.

Kyle seemed to be the best about typing the facts, but because he joined late, fuck kyle I love him. I'm just now realizing I didn't read Lisa's, so I'll be right back.

Read through Lisa's blogg and it appears she has the same syndrome Jason did.

I'm not bashing anyone's blogg, I'm just.

Actually I don't know what I'm doing. I'm happy to say that this isn't so much true with my life. I mean, I know what I'm doing RIGHT now......I think. I'm blogging. But why so late? I'm pretty sure this is a blogg to myself. I'm also pretty sure I'm confused.

I just slept on a bus for 3 hours. I love visiting chels, and I love the time I'm with her, but this travelling is killing me. I already slept so I cant sleep, and when I go to see her I'm sleep deprived, so right now I'm actually sleep deprived, but my body doesn't know that because it just slept, so right now I'm feeling it pretty bad.

I got SF4 for the comp. The only problem is that on everything at low settings and my comp at max settings, I can only get 55 FPS. The game is SUPPOSED to run at 60 FPS consistently. I'm hoping your limited knowledge of computers can do the math there. Also, when my comp gets tired, the game goes down to 13 FPS, which makes me want to kill myself. I also can not see my health bar, which is stupid. I'm not turning this into another SF4 blogg, but I wanted this so I could basically play where ever I go, and thats turning into a not so much, right now. Poop

Back to reading everyones bloggs.

I miss you guys. Jason kept calling me over the weekend, and I felt horrible that I couldn't hang out with him. I mean, he's leaving soon and I really did want to go with him to do stuffs. It would have been really fun. Jason, when you read this, this weekend we're doing something. We are. Mark it up on your calendar. Its going to be the weekend-o-fun. Everyone else is invited. Except Kyle.

I hate to sound gay by saying this, but I'm excited about Winter Break on the count that Kyle is coming back. We gets to see our bestest bestest friend again, and love him and hold him and make him know that.....

sorry. But yeah, I mean, hes fucking Kyle Czarnekasndfjdsfljscnsdkf-ee. Kyle "Hardest fucken last name to spell" _Insert Last Name_

I don't know how I'm doing in class. I'm turning stuff in but I mean, theirs atleast one thing I haven't turned in in every one of my classes. I missed an entire essay in English, but I think I just aced a test. In History I missed the first assignment, so I'm worried about that. Math, well I flunked the first test but shes dropping it, so eh. And I can't get my grades because the system is stooped. BLAH!

I might go to the renn fair in 2 weeks. Kinda excited about that. Except that apparently its expensive and I have no money. And what money I will get is going to customizing my stick thingy mabob.

Oh, I'm customizing my stick thingy mabob. I figured it will take about 25 bucks. 18 for the buttons and the rest towards sticking print paper and spray paint. Probably more then 25, but eh, I'll figure it out later. Right now I'm worrying about the buttons. Chels is going to order them and I'll pay her back, and I'm going to do it over there with her helping. Oh right, not a SF4 blogg.....

I have a bunch of applications that i KEEP FORGETTING TO FILL OUT!!

It's not laziness and it's not that I don't want a job. I'll be all "OH hey, I want a job lets fill those suckers out" and then lifes like "FUCK YOU, SOMETHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE DONE" So I'll fly into the air and fight a giant dragon demon thing, but the city wont pay me because I did just as much damage fighting the dragon as the dragon did on its own. Dicks.

What?

Oh right, nostalgia. I've always been a nostalgic. I keep a box of fucken 6th grade notes from girls I don't even talk to anymore, just because it helps chronocolize my life. I used to keep love messages from a girl that I don't even talk to anymore just because when I "loved" her, it was a huge deal and is part of who I am today. I deleted them though, which for some stupid reason was hard. Eh, it felt good. Most of the reason I listen to music is because right now when I hear songs from way back when I can tell when I first and last listened to them profusely and once again, map out my life with them. I like finding new bands cause it's like I can start a new chapter that better helps to map my life.

I think I'm going to UTD next year. I'm not sure how its going to work though. But I sealed the deal in my mind by knowing and thinking a few things. First off

Chelsea failed to mention earlier that theirs a creative writing major over there. That would have been helpful to know.

I figure I can just take any class I think sounds fun and what ever ones I didn't enjoy wont be apart of what I'm going to do.

I really do want to get back into drawing.

I think I/we have gotten into the point of our relationship where its no longer just lovey dovey stuff. We can finally get on each other's nerves and be ourselves and see who we actually are, and to be honest, if this is all I'll have to "deal" with in the future, I'm lucking out. It's nothing that a few explenations and rational talks can't smooth over. I think we just need to understand each other a little better and, while no relationship is perfect, we wont be at each others throats.

Thats not to say that we are now. But I can tell there were times where she was annoyed with me and I with her, but it was simply because of lack of communication due to, which is funny, caring about the other way too much. Only one instance did that not apply, but it was still due to lack of communication.

Now I'm fucken dr phil to myself.

We all need to hang out one day, play some smash or watch Jason die at Bioshock before handing it to taylor again.

I'm really enjoying SMBC lately. It just has not been not funny for so long. Have they ever made a shitty comic? Since I can't sleep I might go check.

I think I'm going to end my post here.

My life, as it were.

2009-10-29T03:55:00.002-05:00

So here I am, 4 a fucken clock in the morning, doing nothing but staring at my moniter. I just spent a good 2 hours watching SF4 vids. Before that? Well, playing Brutal Legend for awhile (more on that later) but before THAT, played SF4. My days seem pretty linear. Go to class, come home, play SF4, go back to class, come home, play SF4, my brother comes home, play something else, sleep. Wake up and rinse, lather, repeat.

The only days this changes is if I have a test, or homework, in which case that takes place in either sleep time or the time inbetween classes that I play SF4. Other then that, nothing changes until the weekend.

My weekends are one of the two.

Wake up, get to bus station, sleep on bus, see gf for 4 days and what ever happens happens. I also get laid every night during this time.

Or, I wake up and play SF4 until hunger sets in at which case I play SF4 while eating.

This game has consumed me. And I blame Kyle/Jason. Lets explain why for both.

Way back when school was ending and we all just hung out for shits and giggles, one day we all went to Chilli's to see our good ole pal Chase. But whats this? Chase has something giddy to share with us (jason). A new installation to a game I haven't heard about since my days of waiting for my turn to use the Playstation is coming out. Street Fighter? Do I remember it? Oh yes, of course I do. I remember trying frantically to do a god damned fireball while my brother danced around me sending me sky high or dropping me to the floor. Fuckers. Why would I expect this one to be any different?

So the game comes out and on basically a daily basis we go over to Jason's to play. The memorys of me and kyle going at it while fucken awesome music in the background portrays the seriousness of our battles still run frantically through my mind, a memory that is just as fond as those of me hoping to get the next piece of tier 1, or me racing along with thousands of others to hit 70 first. The learning curb was.... steep. I remember when me kyle and jason went to the tournament at Game Crazy only to have our asses handed to us by someone who could actually execute the fucken moves. I remember figuring out that if I just parried kyle's fucking punch thing, I could ultra his ass and get him off my nuts. I remember when kyle learned he could combo into his ultra, so I couldn't stay near him. And I remember when everyone finally had moves down. Now it was a matter of set ups and combos. Fighting kyle just made me.... so angry. And yet, it gave me a high. Every time I lost I checked what I did, learned not to jump in, learned what moves he spammed. Every time I won I made sure not to play the same way, just incase he was doing what I was. It felt so great. I can still see that look on his face..... I just wanted to beat him, and for him to KNOW i beat him.

I think the first time I decided this was my new addiction was the fateful day we just happened to end up at Planet Zero. After so long of scoffing at the idea of an arcade stick, when Kyle and Jason kept clammering of how GODLIKE it was, I finally had it in my hands. And it was so natural. It just.... felt good. Sure, my reaction was a bit sloppy, and every now and then instead of shoryu I would hado, but either way I had much more control over what I did, and this felt great. I then made it my mission to get one of these things. Fuck, I even got a job to get one of these things (though it was really only part of the reason I got a job.)

Once again, I hit the training stage, and set off to remaster every move I had down. But something happened along the way. I learned low medium kick comboed into hado. I learned shoryu as anti air could hit twice. I learned spamming shoryu was NOT an effective way of winning a match. And cross overs made more sense. Some of this stuff I already had down, but not to the point of reflex. I had to think about it before I did it, and the stuff that WAS reflex was all bad habits, probably gained from shooters.

A few months later and I was finally feeling confident. I was winning the champ mode constantly, and I went to bed that night just feeling like I could take on Daigo himself. But when I awoke, something weird had happened. The night before I gained the title of g2B, something not any mortal man could do. But along with it came the chance of fighting more g2B and ups. And I started losing. How could I, me, possibly be losing this much. At first I was frustrated, but while I was supposed to be doing my news cast, I found myself discussing the game with others and watching videos of better people. Seeing what they could do was enticing, so I picked up the game again only to despair in my inability to even do the correct moves. It was like I just couldnt play. So, I picked up the 360 controller and started all over again. With the controller in hand, I won 4 champs in a row nonstop. What happened? I switched to stick again and could not win. I slowly transitioned myself to win a champ with controller to keep my spirits up, then use stick to not lose those timings. And within a week I hit g2A.

Once I hit G2 A I was feeling great again, but the slump hit me once more. But around that time, the Bar Fights round 2 were happening, and I could finally watch pro ken players in action, something that was just not seen since SF4 came out. I watched and then learned there combos, something that took so much fucken patience. Even now I botch them from time to time, and I'm attempting to learn to lengthen them slowly, when I'm feeling daring or when I know I'm going to lose. I'll just try and pull them out of my ass. And you know what's funny? Sometimes they work and win the match. Its awesome, that feeling of losing and then pulling something from nowhere only to have it save you. Once that happens, you feel like you can do it at anytime.

There are times when I have what I call "the zone", and I assume its what pros just have constantly. The ability to just read your player, know what they're going to do, take huge risks knowing you have a great chance of coming out on top with it, or just having a good idea of what's going to happen, so you prep mentally for it. At these times it's as if I'm seeing every frame by frame of the game, as if it has stopped completely. I can see blanka starting up his beast roll, or balrog beginning his dashes. I can tell if Ryu is throwing a fireball or tatsuing from the second I see his player make him crouch from not putting in the input fast enough. At other times I'm just playing by memory and act like a fucken tard. I'll just keep jumping in when it obviously doesn't work. I'll try the same combo and get punished horribly for it. Or, a horrible habit from Jason, really just want to end it flashy.

Week after week I can just see myself improve. I can look back and remember when I learned j.mk, c.mk, srk. And then, from that, I learned j.mk, jab, jab, srk. From that, j.mk, c.lk, jab, srk as a mix up incase they dont block low. Or even if the two jabs miss most of the time I can c.mk into a tatsu or hado.

When I'm on point I can string these things together. For ken its all about getting in close. The only reason I hate not having a working 360 is that I can't play SF4 once I wake up, or into the dead of night. But perhaps this is a good thing. I would still be playing right now, even though I have a test tomorrow.

Last weekend chels was telling me how she was going to have alot of homework, so I was going to have to find something to do while she did that. So, she said "Why not bring Street Fighter and hook it up in the lobby, that way people can see you play and come challenge you." See, this is why I love this girl. She has great ideas and she knows what I like. So thats what I did, took my fightstick and my game and while she did homework by my side, I kicked some random people's ass. I did not lose, people. Wish I had a camera to record that shit. Did. Not. Lose. Only one guy I faced actually had the game, and he was fun to fight if only because he blocked cross ups and forced me to mix up my game. Every time I won, I kissed chels for good measure, and played the next guy. There were 6 guys in all, one tekken player who thought for SURE he could beat me (he got one round on me), the other SF guy who also thought for sure he could beat me (Also got a round on me) someone who had a SF2 emu so he thought he was cool (only one I never got a perfect on) and 3 other guys who just loved playing it. Every single one said they were going to buy it and that "in a few weeks we're going to have a rematch". And to be honest? I can't wait. Just talking in between matches about strategys, showing them how to FADC out of projectiles, telling them of the whole Street Fighter scene thats out there that I want to be in. It was so fun. A few other guys who just looked on while they played magic (there was an entire group of people behind us playing magic) would also just yell with excitement when some kind of turn around happen. I'm sure a few of them will also buy the game.

I titled this blogg post "my life, as it were" and I really was going to talk about my life as it is right now. And in a sense, I think I kind of did. Me and chels are doing great, so there is nothing to talk about there. I see her every other weekend, twice in a row this weekend, and I love seeing her and love being with her. But when I'm not with her or with my studies, I'm with street fighter.

Jason introduced me into this competitive world when we saw "I Got Next". Even before that when the guy from CAD linked "Evo moment number 34", the moment I decided to buy SF4. Kyle showed me just how fun it is to have a rival, someone to just go at it with. And this game gave me what I have wanted for so long now. A good one v one competition. When Brawl came out I went with Matt to a melee tournament, and I remember how stressful, and fun it was. When we saw rich win it all, the high was just so great. A few months later at school during the Brawl tournament, I was horribly pissed that I lost, but all I wanted to do was practice and face that fucker again. Second was great and all and its something I can tell people, but first is first. I've always thought of games as the last true honorable form of 1v1 competition, and no other game has given me any substance behind that until this one. Not Smash, not Halo, not COD, the only thing that came close was, funnily enough, Tetris. I've always been really competitive, and this game has also.

Do I want to compete in tournaments? Yes. Do I hope to be the best? Not really. I just want to play. This game is so damned fun, and so much also are the interactions with people behind the matches, in between the rounds, after the whole thing is over with. I just want to go in and have some fun, get better while getting beat. Every now and then I find myself calling someone else cheap and I just have to stop, but down the controller, and go do something else. I then come back remembering why it is I do this. To have fun.

A dying art.

2009-10-09T01:10:00.002-05:00

Seems like blogging is dying amongst our group of friends. Perhaps thats for the best. It was really just a way for everyone to make the crude jokes that they could have easily made through any other form of media.

Right now I'm at a crossroad. See, even now while I'm in college, I don't know "what I want to be when I grow up." All I know is that I want to go live with Chels. Sounds simple enough, right? But from the start, I knew I wanted to write. Just recently I've realized that, doing that in another town with out my parents is going to be not only difficult, but down right hard. If I'm going to write, we've already taken out the option of me going to the same school as Chelsea, because they have no programs for it there.

However....

Lately I've been looking at myself and what I've been doing. Every time I set out to do an assignment about halfway through I look around, and decide to blow some steam through some video games. I decided a long time ago, way back in Freshman year, that I would never try to go into game design on the count of that it's just way too cliche. A game nerd going for a game degree? But even in the midst of me having no money, going to college, whisking myself away every two weeks and attempting to have a social life, I still find/make times to set aside and just play games. And I don't mean my recent Street Fighter addiction, either. My brother moved the PS2 back in his room so I've been playing some classics. With the emulater I got, I've been playing SMRPG and I'm finally getting around to beating Chrono Trigger.

My point to that small rant was, not even a month ago I was talking about how I was feeling less and less like a gamer and more and more like someone who just really likes games (aka: Apple). But during my highest time of "stress" (It's not really stress since I have everything under control. Sort of....) I rely on games even more.

The next point to my rant is this. I've been browsing the internets, reading interviews and just looking at the stories of games. I've always said, if I can write a story and it just happens to end up into a game, great. But now I've realized that I can't do that if I don't have any game developing experience. And games offer a way into the media that movies, books, and television never will. I've been trying to convince myself to go into game design, but at the same time I wonder if my own motives are off. Do I actually want to go into game design, or am I just doing that so I can have an excuse to go to the same college as my girlfriend. Or am I just taking the easy way out of a profession that could be potentially difficult.

I'm sort of lost, battling myself. I think my one fear is that I'll get through 2 years of college, see what it is I'm doing and realize I don't want to do that and I'll look back and see what a stupid decision I've made. On the other side of that I don't want to look back when I have no real career and see the huge possibility presented to myself that I passed up cause I was confused.

Would it be too cliche for someone who has always avidly loved video games to suddenly start making them? Or would it really be better if I tried to go for a career in a dying industry that barely pays well, just to do what I love? Or even think I love? I don't know.....

School school school.

2009-09-17T17:04:00.002-05:00

This is the first time in awhile I've got to sit down and play some good ole' WoW. And even then, I've got a good hour and thirty minutes to do so. Now, I'm not complaining about how much school sucks or anything like that, as the lack of time to do anything of my own is really my own fault.

For one, I like to sleep. Scratch that, I love to sleep. Sleeping is good, I'd do it for days if I had the option. But I don't, and thats because if I'm not up by 12:00, I'm just not getting an education for the day. This also ties in with my love of staying up late. Put these two together and you have a very groggy me in the morning that even 10 cups of joe cant fix. Nor some actual coffee. Joe doesnt like to shower.

Another block in the road I've hit is that, I don't like to be in town during the weekends. I guess a better way to say this is, I don't like to be home, as sometimes I'm forced to be in town. And the last time I was out of town I got home at 5. AM. Which kind of had me weirded out my first two days back, but what ever.

This was supposed to be alot longer, but I'm too stretched for time to write anymore.

Upon Kyle's Request

2009-08-27T23:46:00.001-05:00

Me-Thats not my fault.

Kyle-I blame your infested doughnut (future edit. A donut? Come on....) for my befallen illness! You're the cause of this!

Me-You have no proof, child! You stand before the council and lay blame to me, what proof do we have this is nothing more then your wounded ego's attempt to bring me down!

Kyle-Keep still your tongue! I have only but myself to prove of this foul manner! I will show how you are the one to blame for this brackish attempt to end my life. I will show you!

Me-You show nothing but self placed contempt and hatered! When all is said and done, it is you who they will remember for wrong doing, not me!

Kyle-Do you actually believe you and your higherarchy can not be held accountable for such a reckless attack? Your social status does not shield you from the people, and your false words fall upon deaf ears. I will show them the coward, the tyrant, and the false council.

Me-You will show them nothing of the sort! If you truly believe the council will fall for your treacherous claims of sabatoge and assassination, then you yourself might as well be held accountable for treason.

Kyle- What ludicrous claims! My vision comes clear, this council would be so brash as to call thy claim an act of trason?! How rediculous! Your attempts to end my life will not be silenced, and you will be exposed for the murderous acts of you and the false council!

Me-I have no time for your deception and confusion amongst the council. We're at war! To waste my time with such ludicruos claims in itself is cheating our people!

Kyle-You are only to cheat yourself, council member! What is there to stop you from attacking another fellow civilian? My people will not suffer from this plot to destroy ourselves, through the minds and acts of this false council! I will not lay dying, and let you dictate my people!

Me-Do not dare talk to me about dictation when it was you who clearly let his own run rampant, and punish those not of his loyalty! What reason do I have to kill a council member when here you stand, with much power and control to gain if I fall! These are not children you see before you, but intelligent people! they will not fall for your ruse!

Kyle-Your council is nothing but false hope and lies amongst the people! Your words of loyalty are poison to the people's ears, and your false talk of peace is nothing but a figment of imagination! You will be held accountable for your actions of attempted murder, and you AND your council will be overthrown to make a vacant suitable to rule my people.

Me-I do not wish to fight a battle on two fronts, but if you must insist on such a fake grudge, you will lose. Such a rebellion will be aloud to go quietly, but take note, your followers will be shunned, and any warfare tactics used against us will not go unpunished. GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!

Kyle-Hold yourself! You would decimate the people you serve? As a member of the high council, you are dispicable, and a fool! For a rebellion of my magnitude and rite will rampart through your pathetic military! My people are no longer part of this false empire, and here by now succeed from it. Your words of a "peaceful" rebellion is nothing anyone has ever heard! You would rather let a civil war errupt than settle? Oh! your visions of peace would kill my and your people bu the tens of thousands! You're not a ruler, but a scared child!

Me-DO NOT TWIST MY WORDS! I allow your "rebellion" to go peacefully, and you mock me?! Truly you have a false sense of loyalty these people have of you. I said before i do not want a battle on two fronts, but you are practically asking for it!What leader willingly throws his men to death for a grudge? And you judge ME.....

Kyle-You think this attack is upon currency!? How dare you! Such a claim is stupid and half minded!

Me-Watch your tongue! Now listen here, I have a war to run, and its enough with out meddlers such as yourself running around with such adacious claims! With out me this war is lost, and I wont let some nave out for money disturb me! Yes, I would rather let a few disobediant men leave peacefully then allow my men be sent to their deaths by leaders who had all good intentions. I wont let it happen, and to attempt to stop me iis such hatred as I've never seen.

Kyle-My men would rather fight for a cause to redeem themselves and their generations after them. Event if it ment to sacrifice themselves in the process! You will not win this, council member, and when the time comes, you will be no more, and your words will be hushed by the edge of my blade!

Me-Then so be it. But your grudge will consume you. Remember this. Gaurds! Escort this man away. We are done here......

My weekend

2009-08-25T16:15:00.002-05:00

This is less of a blog post and more of a chronicalization for myself. So if you really don't care, then stop reading now. I can't be sure how long this is going to be.

So, lets start at Thursday. Thursday night I decided, I'd get some sleep early since I had to wake up promptly at 6:00 so I could be ready to leave at 7:30. So at around 9:00, I set my alarm and got ready to doze off into dream world. Except, that didn't happen. I didn't want to play games since I knew that would keep me up all night, so I decided to just read instead. That was at about 9:30. At about 12:30, I finished my book. Fuck. I picked up another book, read for another hour, then tried DESPERATLY to fall asleep, at all. My brother got home at about 3:00 and saw I was awake, so I decided to see if some good ole MVC2 would help me sleep. Ironically, it did and 30min later, I tried to go back to sleep, only to hear the buzz of my 6:00 AM alarm.

at 7:30 on the dot, Chelsea's dad showed up and I grabbed my pillow and single bag and began my journey. For the entire week I had worried of how it was going to play out, and the day before chelsea had told me it was ok if I slept or listened to music, cause he said he wouldn't be mad. Now, I've met the guy before even to the point of having a conversation with him, but 5 hours alone in the car with the guy is a bit different. I brought my pillow, not cause I thought I'd need it, I knew Chelsea had a shit load (thanks in part to her mom), but incase I needed to sleep on the way over there. Well, that never happened. We ended up just joking and making fun of things like license plates and houses and poor people the entire way, it was jolly good fun.

At 12:30, right when Chelsea's only class for the day ended, we arrived and took her and her roommate out to lunch. It was kind of an awkward lunch cause, Chelsea and Caitlyn (her roommate) would talk about things me and her dad didn't know about, and then me and her would talk about things her dad and caitlyn wouldn't know about, then her dad and I would talk about things the other two wouldn't know about. No matter what, someone was being left out of the conversation. Oh, and I was still running on 2 hours of sleep.

After lunch, her dad left to go do works stuff, meaning that for the rest of the weekend she was mine. =D We went back to her general area of living and got me unpacked, then exercised our new found freedom. After that we went to eat with some guy named Kyle, who is MUCH cooler then our kyle, and possibly even taller as well. Caitlyn came along also. It was basically him making sex jokes about me and chelsea the entire time, and eventually Caitlyn couldnt resist and joined in on the fun. After that we headed back to the dorms at around 4:00. We had a few hours till the pool party, and while me and chels were watching avatar we kept hearing them play rockband next door. Except, it wasnt next door it was in the living area between all the dorms, so we went out and watched and eventually played, while Caitlyn had the entire other half of the room laughing at random Demotivational posters. After that, someone hooked up their laptop to the TV and we watched the Menergy video, Charlie the unicorn, a few Whitest kids, and other various random internet videos. Some other group wanted to hook up their 360 and have a 'scary movie night', but the only scary movie we watched was something dumb called Shrooms which quickly turned into us constantly making fun of it. Pineapple express was on netflix, but someone else brought Waiting, and since everyone's seen PE, we saw Waiting instead.

Sleepiness procded to take hold of half the room, so we all headed back and went to bed. We didn't wake up the next morning till about 2:00, which is normal for me but apparently late for everyone else. We went to lunch where some guys from the night before met up with us and we talked about blizcon the entire time, but eventually I felt bad cause Chels couldn't join in so we bid ado and met up with Kyle to watch some Avatar. Eventually Chels and Caitlyn had to leave and go do something before the carnival that was to come, so me and Kyle chilled there for a bit before meeting up with them. Before the carnival there was, what I described as, a pep rally. We heard some people speak and I felt REALLY out of place, but eventually we went to the carnival and played, in this order, Human Pacman, Football, ate some foods, Musical Chairs and then watched fireworks. After that we headed back to Kyle's dorm and finished off Avatar and headed back to bed.

Chelsea had to wake up at like, 10:00, and wouldnt be back till about 5:00 to do some team developing thing, which made me feel bad for keeping her up. We woke up, ate, then decided to start getting me ready to leave. Except, the website we used to find my bus/train/bus was down, so we were going to have to wing it. We got semi lost in dallas and chelsea was freaking out, so we called her dad but then we just said screw it and decided to try again the next day in the morning. We found a bus that left at 2:45 monday, and woke up at 11 to get me ready. After that, my 'adventure' began.

I got lost in Dallas. YAAAAAY!

I got off 4 stops before I was supposed to, but I didn't know that at the time. The train station was supposed to take me to the bus station so i could get home, which is simple enough, but I didn't know which train stop to get off at. I got off at one that SOUNDED right, and walked around town for a good hour before stopping and asking for help. I looked silly with my pillow in hand. I got back on the train and went down for a good while before getting off. I was, once again, short of my stop, but learned I was only one stop away, but with only an hour and 30min left to get there. My ticket had run out of time, so I had to buy a new one, and while that was happening, a train came and went. Great. So, finally a new train came around and brought me to the actual train station, with only 45 min left to get to my bus. But, once again, I was lost and had NO clue where to go. Chelsea was freaking out cause she didn't want me to miss my bus again, and right when I was about to give up and ask someone, I turned a corner and saw the greyhound building. SUCCESS! So, as I walked the final stretch of my quest, something weird happened. You know those guys that make you answer a riddle before you can pass? I kind of got one of those. He said, 'let me ask you this. What is the secret to your success?'. I looked at him. I looked at myself and the stuff I carried. And then I looked back at him and said "I don't have any success". I then gave him a sob story of why I couldn't give him money, because I didn't know if I had any left to get home (lie). He said sorry, and I felt like I answered that riddle quite well, bought my bus ticket and left for home.

Oh, and I fucked alot!

2009-08-15T00:43:00.000-05:00

..... hello?

2009-08-13T18:41:00.003-05:00

I want to say I feel bad for not having blogged in so long, but I don't. As it stands, the only one whos asked me why I dont blogg is kyle, but thats cause he'll find any reason to bitch.

No, the real reason I haven't blogged is because, I just really havent had time. When school let out and I started waking up early, I found that my days were ENDLESS! Wake up, play WoW, hang out with friends, come home play games, go get food, then sleep. But around the time I A) got a job and B) started going out with chels, my days have been not so endless. At that point it was wake up, go see chelsea, go to work, sleep. Don't get me wrong, this was awesome and I enjoyed every minute of it (minus the work part), but because of it I barely saw any of my friends. I havent seen Lisa in forever, and i'm sure John thinks I'm dead or something, that jizabell fuck.

Last night, me and chelsea tried out webcam. It was cool, and I was pretty happy to see her face again, but the distinct lack of hugs made it feel..... I don't know. It wasnt the same. Next week, if all goes well, I make the drive up to Dallas to see her and spend the weekend with her. The getting there part I'm fine with, even the going over there part is ok to me. But it's the coming back. I never pay attention when I'm coming BACK from somewhere, and while I know how to get to Dallas just fine, I'm not sure how to get back. Also, I know the pain and heartache of having to go back will make the drive even harder. Which I'm not looking forward to.

I havent felt much like a 'gamer' lately. I'm starting to feel more and more like a person that just really likes video games, and that is something that is a huge bother to me. Everything I play it's because my friends play it. So, I'm not actually choosing what I play. I just choose it because I know I'll get to hang out with friends more or be less left out. Oh well

While I haven't actually wrote anything in awhile, thanks to the complete and utter boredom I get at work, I have wrote new stories, but once again, nothing has gone from pen to paper, which is discouraging. Alot of what I've done lately is discouraging. I feel like it's now or never in my life. I either do something now, get stuff done, or forever be stuck with a job I don't like in a place I hate. I'm hoping for a hurricane to come, because then it's an excuse to move somewhere else and start at a new school. It also gives me an excuse to not live at home. A hurricane right now would be a blessing, strangely enough. At this point, I don't care too much about anything I have. I just need my car and some gas in it, and I'll be set.

My parents aren't talking to each other again. I'm really afraid I'm going to come home one day and one of them just wont. But maybe it's for the better. If neither of them are happy in their relationship, maybe it should end. I don't know. Me and chelsea never argued. That's semi a lie. We would argue about whats better, cupcakes or just cake. We argued about who got to drive, though that eventually just led to me driving because I like driving. We argued over what kind of cat we would get, and eventually settled on "fluffy". We also argued on whether or not she was going to pay for me for food, because I really hate it when she does that, but one hug or a kiss on the cheek always ended the argument, as I was rendered helpless with hearts flying all around me.

See a trend here? I've never been mad at her for anything, never felt like I didn't want to be with her anymore, never been emberassed by her. I'm almost sorry that most of this blog ended up being about her, but considering that for the last 2 months she has been pretty much what I wake up to go do, I don't care. If this blog really is supposed to be about my life, then I'm surprised two whole entries weren't already about her. I know its mushy and shit, but fuck..... I really miss her.

Let's try and change the subject.

This is actually kind of difficult.....

Still trying.....

School. I haven't given it much thought. I still have a bit to do and not much time to do it in. That's bad. Secretly, I'm really worried I might not go this semester. But to be 100% totally honest, I'm not worried that I wont get to go. I'm worried that I wont get to go and then I have to hear my parents bitch about it. Now don't get me wrong, I do want to go and start this long ass process of going to various classes and puzzling them together to prove that I'm somehow cut out for some job. I wish even more that it wouldn't take 4+ years to finally be making the kind of money that I deserve. And believe me, I do deserve that money.

I'm probably going to quit krogers soon. I don't enjoy working there at all. My favorite part is, ironically, the part everyone else seems to hate. But its because I don't have to deal with people. One of my (5) managers seems to think otherwise, because he wont let me have headphones in. I hate him. Hes fat. His name is Mr Garcia. The other one is Mr Jim. He essentially reminds me of my ROTC instructor from junior year. I hated that guy, and I hate this guy. The other one is Ms Judy. Shes cool. Sort of. She just follows the rules, but not tongue and cheek like those other two. But shes nice. Shes probably the only reason I still have a job right now. The other two managers I don't know the names of, and don't plan on making a point to do so.

Oh right, back to the me quitting krogers. As nice as Ms Judy is, I wish she had let me get fired. I'm applying for Office Depot, something I think will be a more pleasent experience, if only for the fact that less people go there then krogers. But I don't know if they'll hire me, simply for the fact that I haven't worked at kroger that long, and if kroger gives me a bad name (which they will) my chances of getting that job decrease significantly.

I really enjoy MVC2. But I'm not good at it. I'm stuck at that level of being better then people who just started or play casually, but not good enough to beat people who are actually good. I'm barely over that line in SF4, but every now and then even that proves false.

I've just learned something humorous to me. My brother has been set up on a blind date at Starbucks. Lets go through a few things, huh?

Today i've come to the realization that my brother is more immature then me. And I wholeheartedly blame WoW for that. WoW seems to lagg behind the internet in funniness by 3 years, because he's saying things that I typed back in the day. This is a problem.

Next realization. Who the fuck goes on a date at starbucks. If she chose the place, I'm sorry to say my brother may not do so well. I know the kinds of people that go to starbucks, and they aren't my brother's type. Needless to say, this will be interesting.

Final realization. After 21, how do you tell a girl you live with your parents? It was pretty easy for me to tell my gf I live with my parents, cause, you know, she still lived with hers. But him? I'm not sure what will be better, if she lives with her parents, or if she lives by herself. Either way.....

Ugh. I've done alot of typing. And since everyone else did their art of kyle, heres mine.

Locking my doors.

2009-07-13T16:31:00.002-05:00

Gotta make this quick, work in 30min.

So, I get to Target with one goal in mind. Get pizza. I buy said pizza, and as I'm walking out the door, I drop my keys. I have 2 pizzas in my hand and a cup, so its a bitch to pick up. A short girl, looks 16, notices I'm having trouble and asks if I need help. I saw her earlier, she was outside when I was walking in. Meaning, she was coming in and leaving as fast as I would. And she didn't buy anything.

I make my thank yous and start walking away, when she asks me if she can ask me a question. Which is already a question, but what ever. She asks me my age, and is surprised when I say 18. I try to keep it at that when she asks if she can say one more thing. She says shes out of town and want to know where she can go to do stuffs. I tell her, kemah, galveston or go deeper into webster. Conversation over, I'm leaving

NOPE, she wants to know IF I CAN GIVE HER A RIDE! I tell her sorry, I have work and she asks where I work. I say Kroger, she asks where that is. I give her a very very vague direction, and she asks if she can go with me. I'm scared now.

I say sorry, I have to go home first and that my mom would not be pleased if I brought a stranger and she says "Oh.... ok.... Sorry for the questions."

I walk away as fast as I can with out it be noticeable, and lock my doors as fast as I can. And now I'm home, scared to get dressed for fear shes right outside looking at me....

Sausage Bisctuits!

2009-07-09T03:35:00.002-05:00

Today, I woke up to find an annoyance. My mother took the power cords to the modem and router.

Well FUCK!

I know why she did it. Because I didn't clean my room. What am I, five? What's funny is, I did clean my room. Just not to her standards. I'm convinced that, she doesn't want me to clean my room, what she really wants is for me to get a 1,000 dollars, then buy new furniture and decorations and make my room nice and purdy. She just doesn't realize it. So I've stopped attempting to clean my room for her. If I see theirs food or trash, I'll throw it away. But if my clothes are on the ground, they'll get up when it comes time to wash. The cords will go away when I need to use them and the hangars will hang when my clothes get washed.

Anyways, the reason I'm able to talk right now is A) Skipping the rest of the story that is my day and B) My brother was looking for a power plug to fit the Modem and router, and found one for the modem. But not the router. Which means I have internet, he doesn't. HILLARIOUS!

ok wait, I have to stop what I'm saying to say this. Something disgusting just happened to me. I had food in my mouth and was going to wash it down with some good ol' lemonade, when the food fell into the straw and came right back up. The feeling was.... disgusting.

OK THEN, so after I saw no internets, I decided to.... stay in bed. Then I saw my DS. With Harvest moon in it. There goes any and all productivity for the day.

So, I stayed in bed from 1:00-4:00 playing Harvest Moon and texting Chelsea. For the record, I now have a chicken (that almost died) a baby chicken, 4 rows of potatoes that already ripened and got sold, 2 rows of cucumbers that have ripened twice each, going on third, and I'm about to buy a cow.

I hate myself.

After chelsea said we might be able to do something, I decided to get up. Mainly for the fact that, my brother had my car and I enjoy that car. So I get up, go switch cars, only to find out I have 2 hours till I can see her. No big deal. Just going to play Street Figh- OH RIGHT, NO INTERNET. Oh well. We'll make due. So, I got some new colors today.

I head on over there and meet her cousins once more, who are nice folk. But not folk, cause they're people. I think. I'm going to stop this before it gets out of hand.

We watched 2 and a half movies. I say a half because, Knowing fucked up halfway through. There was a huge chip on the disk. The other two movies were Push (which was actually really good, but apparently I was the only one who had enough inference power to know what was going on) and Ghost something or other. I don't know, it was a comedy and had a british guy. It was pretty good. But once again, I was the only one who knew what was going on.

After that I came home, to learn of my brother's mini adventure. Then I got food. Now I'm typing. I feel like typing more, so here's some things that have been on my mind.

I really want chinese food. I don't care if its bad or good, I just WANT it. NOM NOM NOM.

I'm really happy right now, where I'm at. But that frightens me. Every time I finally get happy, finally get set and in a good position, life comes and fucks it all up. I feel like when I wake up, something is going to come along and ruin everything, like it does every time. But every other time, theirs always been something that could do that. And while their is something that can do it this time, I don't see it happening. But theirs still that..... doubt. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, or stupid. I just don't want this feeling to end....

All the cool kids are doing it.

2009-06-29T23:34:00.003-05:00

Taylor talked about how he blogged today, and I felt guilty. Like, I should blogg more. Or at all. So, here we go.

Today, I woke up with what was the worst pain I have ever felt in my stomach. So, I did what any normal person would do if their stomach hurt. I went to take a poop.

That didnt work.

Ok, so from that point I just sort of lied there, in the most akward position imaginable for the pure and simple reason that, my stomach didn't hurt when I lied like that. I did this for a good 4 hours. Eventually, I manned up enough to go get some tums (or off brand tums) and decided I wanted to go play WoW. So, I did. With the pain there, but slowly getting better as I farted and burped all the pain away. Then I got hungry, and decided to eat the left over pizza.

Bad idea. The pain came back as strong as ever. Copy paste what I did the first time around, but lessen the time, and thats what happened. I finally decided "Fuck this" and went to my brothers room to play L4D. I did that for a good hour, and when I was done, realized the pain was gone. It was also 4:00, which meant I had TAG in 2 hours, and no car. So, I drove my mom's truck to give him that so I could have my car (and by god, do I hate my mother's truck) and arrived. The meeting was on par with all the others, but I feel like we all are drifting apart, and TAG is the only real thing keeping me in touch with Lisa. Taylor I atleast hang out with every now and then. But I haven't seen Jason in awhile. I dont know, maybe its just me.

Last week was one of the best weeks I've had in awhile. TAG was awesome, monday I got real close to an old friend (Her name's Chelsea by the way)and thursday we ended up together, which was unexpected and awesome at the same time. Friday I saw Transformers 2 with her. Wednsday I went in for my interview (and got the job) and then went to see Chelsea at work. Thursday I spent the entire day playing WoW, something I've wanted to do for a long time.

I know theirs more, but just so much happened, I don't remember it all. Heck, I'm not even 100% sure that the days I've listed correspond properly with what actually happened. I don't remember if I hung out with taylor/kris/john last week, or the week before. Was it last week we stayed up and played Starcraft? I think so.....

Tomorrow I have to go to bed at the times normal people do, so I can drive to Pearland at 9AM in the morning and do my orientation. The lady wants me to do it down there because I'm one of the few new employees that wont be working at one of those stores, so I get to make the long drive. Poop.

Well, I'm gonna go to Whataburger now, as it's past 11:00, and they're serving breakfast. Mmmmmmm Sausage Biscuits.....

Lets try this.

2009-06-03T23:36:00.002-05:00

The airplane's hum heard in the background, they just sat there, staring at each other. The other people didn't even notice them, probably because they couldn't even hear or see them. They were in between this world and the next. And if need be, they would spring into action.

"Ok, so explain to me again, who are you, and what do you do?"

The other sighed "I'm a soul reaper, we guide the dead to the other world. Anytime theirs a possible risk for people to die, we're there. So every flight, every car, every thing that has a danger, we're ready. Most houses have atleast two of us."

"This sounds like Bleach"
"It's not Bleach. You've fought demons before, and you know they're nothing like in Bleach"

"They eat souls like in Bleach."
"And they turn them. You're an Agent, you know how it works."
"Ok, fine. Then what do you do when you're attacked by a demon?"
"Same thing you do. Kill it."
He directs the first's attention towards his swords, both of them only have an edge on one side, and on the other, where the blade becomes the hilt, turns another hilt 90 degrees from the normal one. An interesting weapon, if he didn't already wield his that way.

"Right. Then why does the Agency never talk about you guys, if we obviously have the same goal?"
"Well, we don't have the same goal. You protect the living and I protect, and guide, the dead."

"But we have the same goal, protect the people. I don't understand why we couldn't work together."
"You really don't know, do you? The Agency was once apart of us."
"Once apart of the 'Soul Society?'" He snickerd.

A flash of white came, and within moments, both had drawn their weapons, letting the blade rest on their forearm and struggling with each other. The Soul Reaper had gained beautiful white wings and was using them to push himself further then his normal body could. The people in their cabins had noticed the flash and felt the shock, but other then that, they were oblvious to the 'battle' going on behind them.

"You just don't get it. This isn't a joke. If we wanted to, we could leave your soul here, in this multi-plane, and let you fend for yourself from all the horrors the demon have to offer. You won't have fully grown into your spiritual energy in this realm, and your weapons will be inaccesable to you. You'll be worthless, a free soul to even the weakest of monsters."

They lower their weapons and sit back down.

The Agent sat back in his seat, letting himself get comfortable again. "Then let history lesson begin. What sepperated the two? And why has the Agency never mentioned the Soul Reapers before?"

"Because" the angelic figure began "there was a civil war for hundreds of years that's purpose was only that of pride. It's why Agents can be mortals and Reapers cant. It's why the Agency bars weapon use." He took a deep breathe. "And it's why us Reapers are dying off. The living with spirtual potential once became Reapers. But now they're becoming Agents, and not wanting to do the same job in the afterlife."

The Soul Reaper looked at the floor, contemplating what to say next. He had done this job since he died in the 1920's. It was getting old, but he was still young, spiritually whise. "Maybe the fact that you're here is a good thing. Maybe you can start recruiting Soul Reapers for me. I just need one good word in the Agency."

The agent stood up. "I'm just here to protect the girl. Let me do my job and we can both pray that you wont have to do yours."

The soul reaper smiled. "Pray? I've got a direct line to heaven right now.It wont do us any good. You and I are who they send when people have a prayer."

"If this whole thing goes over well, and you teach me a bit more about what you know, I'll see what I can do. Deal?"

"Deal."

I had a random rap attack

2009-06-01T21:55:00.003-05:00

This was alot longer and kept going through my head, so I started typing when I got to the computer. Here it is.

My mind is racing and I'm just trying to get a grip,

everything is moving, I feel like I'm starting to slip

I've got so many thoughts and none of them are sounded funny

Everyone's staring, "just look at him honey

Isnt he silly hes just trying to get by

and yet there he is, looking like hes about to cry"

I am just so high

but it aint off of no damn drug

its this stupid life, it is starting to be no much fun

I wanna just start to run,

but I can't go anywhere

Leave tonight and keep going

packen extra underwear

Gonna go and when I get there

figure out where I am at

and see if anyone really cares

See if I'm attacked

See if anyone notices

I notice that I'm not too far

still in my car

I've only gotten to the park.

But thats a start

maybe next time I'll get a little further

I gotta calm down before somebody gets hurt.

I have alot more to say, so I'm just going to continue. Today, I learned they're going to have to put me on the minimun plan so I can graduate. This was a huge blow to my ego, though it didn't hit me till a bit later. Everyone came over and we had a great time, but for some reason theirs two other things on my mind that I just really need someone to talk to about and yet I can't. I don't know why. It's not out of shame nor spight, just bad circumstances. And I hate it.

One of them has been eating at me for only part of the day, and even though it's not so much a big deal, it's destroying me. Its going to be the end of me, and I want it to stop. I want everything to stop, just for me. Like I'm important enough to make everyone give up what they're doing and pay attention to the poor kid who can't make up his mind on how he wants to live his life.

The other has just had me in shock since the weekend, I don't know what to do. Its caused me so much.... almost shame, but not really. Like its a reality check that, everything I know isn't always going to be there. The fact that the Tulleys came over (the ones who introduced me to Audrey) and stayed the weekend did not help to curb these thoughts. I tried to drown them out so hard I did nothing but play SF4 all day. Normally this is normal, but I just sort of lost it. I only realized later just what I had been doing. I feel like, once again, I'm trying to force myself to have problems. In one of the Thursday novels, the minor characters always feel happy, and the only way they get another feeling is by kidnapping bystandards to marry them and kill them, so that they can feel happiness then sadness, respectively. I feel like thats me on a lesser scale.

This is the first year since 8th grade I havent dealt with a breakup right before summer. I like that, and yet, I have that exact same feeling I've had the bast 5 years. A huge loss. I hate this feeling. It's the reason I hate summer. It's the reason I give up a good 45+$ every year towards Blizzard to lose myself. It's the reason I get paler around summer rather then tanner. Its the reason for alot of other things, and it should be gone right now, but its not. I have good friends who actually care about me, a good life with a good future and a home that people around the world would, quite literally, kill for. But this feeling just irks me.... it may be whats causing this mental breakdown.

I feel mentally unstable. Maybe it's the 3 energy drinks I've drank today (not to mention the coffee I drank) making my insides and brain squirm, but I've been ready to blow all day. Today when I was driving with Kyle and Grace, I had to try so hard not to blare the horn and yell my lungs out that I got dizzy. I didn't tell either of them that. Probably for the better. I don't want highschool to end. Kyle will be gone. There goes a good amount of my entertainment. Taylor will have a job. As much as I love my friends, I can't wait till I stay with my aunt for 2 weeks. I mean no offense towards anyone, but I'm a bit ready for change. This is a huge deal for someone who didn't want to move from their old house because he had alot of memories there. I need change.

Onto friends. I'm going to miss you guys. This was a fun year, if only for them. I cant imagine being one of those kids walking around during lunch of school functions, looking for someone who might tollerate their presence. I can't imagine going through Senior year with out any friends. It seems like such a waste. I know they say these are your golden years, but I'm going to prove them wrong. 10 years for now, I hope to be atleast somewhat succesful. I'd like to atleast fly in my friends once a year for a good week bash or something. I know I've said that I keep having dreams about my future, and that seems to be one of them. All of us in a penthouse just blaring the radio, playing games, talking, what we do now but more luxorious. And even a few inclusions. More people as crazy as us.

I keep thinking about my kids. I don't know why. It's always been a fascinating thought for me. What will they be like? In one of my stories, I tried to match as much of it with my life as I could while keeping it in bounds. One of the things I put in, though, was a boy and a two year younger and or twin girl. And that's something I've had in my mind for years, though I'm not sure why. The boy seems to just be what I am to my mother, but to me. And alot more bad ass. The girl seems to be like..... well, lets just say shes strong headed, but still acts a girl. I could tell you stories of things that they do both together and on their own. And then I realize, these are my future kid's lifes I'm planning out. Maybe I should just make this it's own story, and yet it seems like it would go nowhere. Just like life.

My writing has been..... weird, lately. This is the most I've written in awhile. I still make my stories, like I've done for the past 5 years, but the fact that I'm too lazy to write it all out kind of annoys me. I keep telling myself it'll get better once school ends. Maybe it will. I hope so. I want to, by the end of the year, atleast have attempted to publish something. Anything. So wish me luck.

I think I'm done ranting. I'm trying to think of what else to talk about, but I think I've hit everything. This is mainly for myself then anything else. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. I'm tired.....

Dissapointment and expectations.

2009-05-11T21:05:00.002-05:00

So today, I did not get my license, but hopefully tomorrow will be the day. I'm wondering if I'll even get it before my birthday. I needed it to pick up Jon and Jannie so we could bake our cake. So while I was stressing, trying to figure out how not to get a zero on an easy test grade, it all eventually fell in to place and we got it done (but not before my dad decided to mess with me and tell me he ate the cake)

Afterwards, I cleaned up and got ready for bed. But something happened today as I took my shower. My parents were talking. Not about my grades, not about me at all actually. Not even about work or anything closely related to finances. This is something I have hardly ever seen happen between my parents. Usually its always 'official' talk. But today, they talked about my dad's racketball tournament, about my family, about my mom's work. They just exchanged stories and laughs.

Now, while to some that may seem normal, my parents either always talk about me, or fight, or both. Not fun. I've had an ungoing thought that after I turned 18, my parents would split. Not a great thought to think that you are the timer on whats left of your parent's love. But there they were. Probably for the first time since I was either a baby, or before I was born.

Hugs own

2009-05-09T21:27:00.003-05:00

I think this is a universal feeling.

Sadness

2009-05-07T21:35:00.002-05:00

I've noticed recently, I haven't been really sad in a long time. I'll get small bouts of feeling down, or even not myself, but never really sad. Not like "my life sucks" kind of sad. I've almost gone a year with out that. And while I would love to say how great that is, my impulse to complain just started kicking in. And I'm dying for a good cry right now.

You can call my gay for that last sentence. Call me anything you like. I wont say "I don't care", but it sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to change it, or the way I'm thinking. I'm still dying for a good cry.

I think I've so highly absolved my life as the biggest drama to reach earth, that not having any in awhile is a mind fuck. For awhile, I've had this delusion of grandeur that every part of me is interesting, just nobody notices it. When in actually it probably is the exact opposite, and with no relationship problems to back up said claims, my mind is has to reach the very real conclusion that my life is boring. But I don't think I'm the only one. I've talked about this with another on multiple occasions(you know who you are ;]) and everyone seems to have their own oppinions that everything in their life is 'just so complicated'. (That last implication was part of my attempt to not name names.) Everyone likes to think that their problems are much bigger then everyone else's. And I'm probably one of the biggest victims of that.

So now, here I am, realtionship problem free, attempting to make myself HAVE relationship problems on a daily basis (though I keep it hidden, ironically. What am I playing at?!) complaining that I'm not sad. What is wrong with me?!

Now I'm ranting. And now I'm complaining about ranting. I sure do love to bitch and moan..... ok, this is off topic. So new topic time.

Today, I learned the hard way (again) that I may just be lactose intollerent. Drank two glasses of milk. And now the rest of my day has sucked. Sort of. I don't want to say it sucked, because it was actually awesome. Got the next Thursday Next book, so thats always an up. And our food is restocked. Awesome. But the constant.... 'gas expulsion' and the destroying of a poor public bathroom was not exactly part of the highlights.

I had more to talk about, but I don't want to, so NYAH!

Goodnight!

Fucken' short term memory....

2009-05-03T21:54:00.002-05:00

I just wrote (and sang) these songs about 20min ago, but now reading them, I can't remember how I sang them.... so now they're just words..... /cry

Edit: The first one is a generic sappy love song. The second, my mind sort of bled out onto the paper. You can make fun of me now.

And Yet!
Here and now that I know that I wanna be free from you(ooouuu)
Yet the thought of you gone, I just can not let it be true(uuueee)

And yet, I dont know how to tell you this,
when I'm with you, I am in eternal bliss....

AND YET!
Here I am.... ranting about my problems (AND YET!)
Here I am... writing another sonnet.
For you!

Vacation Fall
Words flowing as if they were destiny
but I don't know how to stop them flowing, so well
I can't seem to get this right
but I'll keep on thinking, I'll keep on writing

My procastinations amazing(iiiing)
My laziness exceeds ALL i expect.
I don't understand why I'm not getting work do(ooo)ne
I don't understand why I have to have fun

And we are coming to a close. Right?

2009-04-30T21:01:00.002-05:00

So here we are, on the last day. I purposely took yesterday off. Kind of wanted this one to be memorable. But it will be, if only for the reasoning that it wont be what I want it to be.
I had planned on making this last and final post alot more exciting, alot more revealing, and, well..... that last part I can't say. Because theirs alot that I wanted to happen between then and now, and none of it seems to have. Which is dissapointing, to say the least.

I'll continue to write here, but I think I'm going to take a week off. And I wont pull a 'webcomic artist' and only update when I feel like it. I'm taking a week off, then back to the daily updates. More for my benefit then anyone else's. They say it's healthy to keep a diary, and well, here's mine.

Dear Diary.

Today's mood: Retrospective.

So..... ok, fuck that lay out.

I'd rather not get made fun of for having one time calling this my 'diary', because diarys are mostly about talking about your day and how it made you feel. Which I try and stay away from for the most part. Even though I do it every fucken' time.... *sigh* I think my point there was, we've all used this as a 'diary' for the last 30 days, so yeah.... don't know where I'm going with this

*twiddles thumbs*

oh right, no one cares.

I've been kind of harsh on people recently. I've mentally retreated myself, and lashed out at select few. That's unhealthy. And being an asshole. This whole 'be a better person' thing I set out to do in february is turning out to be alot harder then I thought. Sure, forgive everyone that wronged you was easy, but continuing to have a friendship with them was not. Also, being nice to everybody has to literally mean EVERYONE. Also, my faith has seemed to DIE more then it has gained, which I find incredibly depressing. And that was my main drive. Was to be a better person and hopefully, gain a stronger (if existant) faith again. But that hasn't gone over too well.

Goodbye, old friend....

2009-04-28T22:27:00.002-05:00

Finishing a book is alot like losing a good friend or two. When it's all said and done, these characters (or character) that you have spent so much time and effort getting to know, they just vanish. Sure, you may know a little of what happens to them afterward, but it's alot like a friend calling you up 10 years after you graduate and telling you they're married, they have kids and that they're happy. Sure, thats great to know, but you want to have been there. They were a part of your life, and now they're a part of your memory. It's sad, really.

I think a good way to end a story is to completely leave the 'real ending' up to the reader. That way they can continue their adventures in their minds, and either give the ending they want, or continue the story for years to come. That sounds awesome....

Today was.... an adventure. To say the least.

I've noticed a trend in that, I try to stay as much out of the real world as possible, and as much in fantasy and made up stories. I know who I am, and I can define what's real and what's not, but what is real is just so boring to me. I love being lost in a book, emersed in a song, captivated by a game. It's so much better, yet I know its not healthy. I'm no better with books and music now then I was with World of Warcraft freshman year. In the real world, I've tried (and done a good job, in my opinion) of being less offensive to people, trying less and less of being a hassle and more and more of being compliant. The only person that I seem to still lash out at is Kris, but I'll try and improve there.

Nope

2009-04-27T23:12:00.001-05:00

Just posting to get a post in. Too much to talk about, none of it I wanna type.

Chia-like, I shall grow...

2009-04-26T16:53:00.003-05:00

I fucken' love complaining. I really do. It's so much easier to say "this this and that sucks" rather then going out and fixing it. It's more fulfilling to say what you hate rather then what you love. And I don't know about you, but I'm an 'easy way out' kinda guy. With that said, I think today I'm going to make a list of the things I love (people excluded.)While I know this is setting myself up for white a bit of flamebait, I inquire anyone else who has a blog to list the things that they enjoy in life. It can be relaxing....

Hugs. Theirs just something so satisfying about knowing that this person is close enough to you to let you into their personal bubble.
Kittens. They're balls of fluff.
The internet. What else allows you to talk about meaningless shit with random people? Lunch time? Maybe.... maybe it's the disconnected ness that makes it fun. *shrug*
Webcomics. It's like reading someone's random thoughts, and comparing them with yours. I don't know about you, but my random thoughts are story mode.
Winter. When else can you wrap yourself in endless amounts of assorted cloths (and clothes) and not get hot and sweaty? Also, because of the cold, you have a never ending reason to stay inside. Which brings me to...
Inside. I loathe outdoors. Atleast, during the day. So maybe i just hate the sun, as Sunset is my favorite time of the day.
Sunset. Aside from telling you 'hey, night times coming, get everything ready for awesomness', its also very beautiful. Writers and artists alike have always been captivated by the thought of two lovers watching or being in sunset. Its incredibly romantic, watching day and night dance in the sky. I love it.
Video games. Now, I could end this by saying "They're fun", but that would be cheating. I know everyone has their own reason for being a 'gamer', but I think mine is.... different. Then again, maybe not. This may sound silly or even stupid, but I view it as the last way of being a 'warrior'. Now, that doesn't mean I think I'm better then everyone else, I just think that by playing against someone else you are testing skill against skill, something that can no longer be done in hand to hand combat, lest you have cops on you or something. I find that, even if I lose, if both of us play with honor and respect for the game, it can be something of endless joy. Maybe I'm weird.
Music. I could rant longer then I could about video games. Music is an entry into another world, much the same books are (which I'll talk about next). All music tells a story, and I think that's what classifies music away from noise. Of course music is noise, but noise isn't music. And I believe that's why. Music is a form of literature that combines great story telling with fantastic ear candy. One can lose them selves in it, either listening or creating it. It can be interpretted many ways, and can open up new emotions. It can convey a meaning or view point. It can do so many things. Whether you just have it as something in the background to fill in the gaps of conversation, or something to get people moving, or even letting your mind engage in a battle of wits against the writer, music is there to surround. I'm going to stop now, and move on to...
Books. Oh how I've only recently rediscovered the magic that is books. I'm not sure what people's hatred for reading is. I've always assumed they don't read fast enough, and so blame letters and whatnot for it, but alot of times that isn't the case. Either way, the fact remains. Books will always be better then movie/television. When you watch either, everything is predetermined. You have no say in the matter. But in a book, when they give descriptions, it's up to your mind to interpret everything, your imagination takes hold of the world and creates it before your very eyes. Of course pre destined knowledge helps some, like with a cup or a window, but further description can free your mind from that and allow it to turn something ordinary into something grand.
Sleep. Oh how I love sleep. I guess I just like to escape reality, because the last three things I have described have all been ways of escaping what is real and entering what isn't.
Rain. I've been fascinated by rain since sophmore year. Back then it was sort of a calling to love, but now it's.... something else. Less of a nostalgia bringer, and more of an excuse to get stuff done. I know alot of people have to stop working when it rains, but that is when I start.
Legos. Legos used to be my medium for story telling. I know we all played 'pretend' until we were in the 4th grade, but thanks to legos I continued it till about 7th. And everynow and then, I'm allowed to do it again. I feel like I'm not growing up.... I used to dream about buying alot of legos and having an entire room dedicated to legos when I grew up, and that is still very much a dream for me.
Chairs. They make my butt comfortable. Nuff' said.
The 1920s. It seems that, back then there wasn't enough time for imagination. Everything was set in stone that we wouldn't make much more. Kind of funny that it took war to change that thought. And yet, if we were to go back then now with the imagination we had today, what would we come up with? Some bad ass looken' shit. Which we now call steampunk.
Caffine/sugar. Probably the only non medication 'drug' I will ever take, I just really love being able to stay awake. As much as I love sleep, I'd prefer to do it during the day, thus combining my love of the night with my love of sleep. I'm a nocturnal son of a bitch.

I think my list here is done. It's not really as big as I thought it would be, but oh well.

I suppose I should update, shouldn't I?

2009-04-25T21:32:00.002-05:00

We're at day 25 here, and I'm finding it harder and harder to type out stuff. My thoughts have become more single minded, not really wandering off. It seems the only imagination I can muster is that of stuff I already made up. It's all old shit, nothing new. I can't think of too much more to say after that. My thoughts can't be put to words anymore. I don't have much more to say. So I'm signing off here for the night.

Quicky

2009-04-23T21:35:00.002-05:00

Walked home with Tanner, we had a craaaaazy time at my house (just played games) now doing homework. My day wasn't exciting, and I have no story to tell. So instead, heres a picture of a bunny with a pancake on it's head

Bit of backstory

2009-04-22T20:32:00.003-05:00

Said I would write some backstory, so I did. Only got Kyle, Taylor and Lisa. If you guys don't like them, don't just throw shit at me, just tell me what you do/don't like. Kyle, sorry to tell you that your's is kind of hard to move around.... so yeah.

Kyle-Trained to win, never backs down. Started out in a Dojo of hundreds, it slowly trickled down to around 15-10 due to its intense training etc. After he suspects mal intent within the higher ups, he leaves to escape what evil plan may come to fruitation, and wanders, leaving behind his friend/rival. (that would be me.)

Taylor- A former member of the dojo, while he wasn't one of the first to leave, he wasn't one of the best either. He left after he learned, and mastered, an ability to make him move at incredible speeds. Though in the dojo it was shown and taught as a confusion and not too battle intensive move, he believed it could be used as more then that, and left to design and perfect it as his own fighting style. He never suspected anything in evil going on.

Lisa- Ninja 'in training', her last test was to find, and catch, her master. It's been months since given this objective, and while she hasn't given up, she has decided to that help it will be much easier. She's agreed to help Kyle and Taylor in exchange for help afterwards.

I'm not sure how Taylor meets Kyle, or vice versa, but Lisa accidently runs into those two. I don't know too much about the Dojo's evil intentions, so bare with me here. Just throwing out ideas. Of course, if no one likes this idea at all, then I'll scrap it. Seeing as I'll have no choice.

Street Fighter Alpha 3

2009-04-21T21:20:00.003-05:00

Quick rant about this game. Its more fun now that I'm ya know, competent. getting off shoryuken is difficult, though. You cant F-D-F, it doesn't except that. You have to push forward, then down, then downforward. You cant roll them. It hates you for it. Also, the lack of grabs makes for a hard time when the computer is being a block whore. Other then that, juggling is very much a possibility, though not easy. Accidental juggles are fun, and you can tell they can be never ending if you're good.

Music Rant!!

2009-04-20T20:38:00.004-05:00

Today is my rant about music. In short, I'm going to name a band, talk about it, relate it to myself, then rate them. If this already sounds boring, stop reading now. Just stop. If you do not like my taste in music, I implore you to not read any further. I'm serious. You'll find this boring. Are you really still reading? Fine, but you don't get to complain about how boring this was. I warned you. This I'm going to mod this post so you cant make comments. So if you want to talk to me about it, DO IT IN REAL LIFE!!!

In alphabetical order.

The Academy Is...-Let me start by saying, if you like Fall Out Boy's voice with out all the whiny shit, this is pretty much the band for you. It's the grown up person's FOB. I say that with all respect to FOB, but still. ANYWAYS, not much else to say, they vary from the required Single to the awesome rocking out song, and even throw in two "Make you think and chill...." songs. All in one CD. Santi was a bit of a mess, so I wont hit on that, and saying I've only heard of their third CD (but what I heard, I liked) theirs not much else to say.

8/10

Alkaline Trio- Considering I was listening to this band in my 'self pity' stage, the fact that I still find them enjoyable is amazing. This is the closest to 'Goth' or 'hardcore emo' I've ever gone, and that I ever plan to go to. Then again, that might be me lying, as I just like music. In short, love the bass, love the singer, and even the lyrics can be bad ass. The single is good, the bad ass rocking song is there, and even a "make you think and chill...." song is there, all with a kind of darker twist, though. Not really for someone who thinks too heavily about what other people think about them. But if you just want a good CD, then Crimson is one for you to get. Sadly, the other CDs sort of.... crash deeply into the 'darker' side, and go full out goth. *sigh*

7/10

The Arma Mirage-I'm not too sure what to say here. This band isn't bad...... but all their songs are the same. It's no wonder these guys are still low, and I haven't really heard about nor from them since Warped Tour. A year ago. If you have some time, go ahead and Limewire them or something. I'm really not too sure if you'll find them.

5/10

Cobra Starship-I love this band. Let me reiterate that. I really love this band. The way they easily transition from something akin to early Gym Class to a more smooth r&b, and even to some easy rock. Good beats, good rocken out, and a good single.

8/10

Coheed & Cambria- God's gift to music. Ok, maybe an exageration. Either way, with four CDs slowly going from some nice emo rock to a good 'almost-metal-minus-the-death-metal-scream' with the awesome guitar solo's and sexy bass. And then to a nicely done imitation of 80's rock. All the while, staying true to their roots, and the fact that they tell a story the entire time just seals the deal. With many good rock songs, crazy imagination, and a damned good singer with more then one trick up his sleeve, the only thing they're missing is the ability to rap.

9.5/10

The Cover Up- Pretty much a solid stereotypical screamo band, not too much else to say. Can sometimes be a bit repetitive, but seeing as their CD was an EP, and the fact that their entire songs are nothing but long rifts, it's hard to complain about it. If you just want a good screamo CD, then heres your band. If you don't like screamo, dont listen. Then I don't have to hear you.

6/10

Daft Punk- A band that needs no intro, mainstream-techno done right, a band no one can say 'I don't like them' with a straight face, something for everyone here. If you need some nice chill songs, some good dance beats, some awesome house music, just pick up a CD of theirs, or bust out Youtube and have a blast. Either way, you're getting good music.

9/10

Eiffel 65- Daft Punk's failed rivalry.With repetitive beats and repetitive vocals, its no wonder they lost and broke up. Oh well, still some good songs.

5/10

Eminem/D12- Once again, someone who needs no intro, infamous amongst white moms everywhere, and famous for inspiring teenagers in the same way. A good amount of singles, amazing flow, powerful lyrics, great beats, having Dr Dre in your sound room seems to help. I dont have to say anything else other then that I cant wait for his new CD.

9.5/10

From First to Last- Starting off with a typical whiny emo CD, this band didn't peek my attention. Up until the second CD, sounding like a mix between My Chem and The Used, not doing either justice, but a good listen to if you're waiting for both's new CDs

6/10

Gorillaz- I'm not sure what this 'band' is.... It's two people with nice beats. A mix between Linkin Park, Eminem and a whole lot of craziness. Every song sounds like it could be part of it's own Album, ever new single sound's like a new band, this is taking what The Killers do to the extreme. And doing it well. Anyone can find something they like in these CDs. But its all a matter of opinion. I'm not going to rate this band, seeing as I can't seem to generalize this band at all.

??/10

Gym Class Heroes- What can I say about these guys? Hes an original MC with a good band behind him. His music is his work, and his recent CD has shown he can diverse, even if it is a bit painful to loyal fans. His lyrics can be powerful, or they can be playful and fun. Very sexy orientated, or trying to moderate his audience. And of course, the req single has captured an audience.

7.5/10

Hellogoodbye- I have two things to say. MEMORIZE YOUR LINES, AND STOP REMIXING YOUR OLD SONGS! The fact that these guys are releasing a new CD is releaving, but having thousands of remixes of their old songs is making hitting "Shuffle all" a pain. Even worse then the thousands of 'Mr Brightside' versions I have.

6/10

Houston Calls- Oh houston calls, how I adore thee. Maybe I'm a bit biased here, seeing as I got a ride home from them. But I find this to be the best ''couple's'' band. Great vocals, great lyrics, great single. No 'rock out' songs nor 'chill' songs to be heard. It seems every single song on their is very single orientated. Both CDs. Thats probably the only flaw. Though I have heard that their songs all sound similar, so once again I may be biased.

8/10

Inept- A gem in the sea of generic bands. A story of the lead singer's life, all done masterfully to a great band. His passion for music shows in every line of his, and his thoughts so easily jotted down. While they do have many flaws vocally, and the band isn't really at it's peak, this could easily grow to be a new sensation, if only it could stand out better.

8/10

John Michael Montgomery- Yes a country singer. I brought in a country singer. An amazing country singer. I grew up on him. I'm just going to give him a grade and move on.

7/10

Johnny Cash- Yeah, hes the Man in Black. No review needed here. He's a fucken' legend. No review here.

Karoshi Bros-They have one song out. ONE SONG. And it's AMAZING! Make more songs please. Until then, low score.

5/10

Kenny Chesney- Yes, another country singer. What? I'm nostalgic. Hes a good singer.

8.5/10

The Killers- Oh..... the killers. How I love the killers. While I only enjoy half of the first CD(its too.... I don't know.) The others are just.... ugh. Hold on, need a new pair of undies.

ok, here we go. All of the '3 reqs.' Awesome singles, awesome rock out songs, and amazing chill songs. And something else I cant describe. They just make you happy to be alive, and happy to have ears. Unique voice, always fresh music (while still sounding like the band we know they are). I cant prase them enough. So I'll stop.

9.5/10

Korn- This is mostly nostalgia from what I grew up on, and not too much about what I've heard, but just a good nu-metal. Of course, you don't need to hear that from me. No rating for them

K-os- Awesome Canadian underground MC. His rhymes are fresh, and his lyrics are inpsiring, and send a good message. He can be a bit preachy at times, but he knows good music, and he knows he makes good music. If you're dying for some good RAP minus all the unoriginality, then look him up. Along with POS.

Linkin Park- Ah, the voice of my childhood. I could rant all day about them. Poweful lyrics to anyone from middle school to highschool, great techno merged in, awesome rap vocals, some good numetal singing, if it weren't for their attempt at the emo craze, we'd have a perfect band here. I'll stop there.

9.9/10

The Lonely Island- Parodying all forms of R&B and RAP, these self proclaimed 'fake MCs' accidently produce good music, and I love them for it.

7/10

Manchestor Orchestra- Probably the only thing missing here is a good solid 'Single'. While it could be argued that its Golden Ticket, I just dont see it. Otherwise, the vocals are un-ordinary, but in a good way. A nice diverge from the overdone. And while the songs all touch on around the same subject, the way they're done makes it no problem at all to listen to over and over again. Alot of hidden depth and meaning can be heard and felt, and thats what gives them their 'pop' from the other bands out there. A great listen.

8.5/10

Metro Station- A good band. Not a great one or an outstanding one, but a good one nonetheless. They can get their crowd moving, and their listeners exciting, but the fact that they treat themselves as if they're at 'Fall out boy status' sickens me. I hope their new CD isn't as geared to a crowd that can barely stay up for their concerts, and that they keep their back up singer in check, as he seems to ruin some of the songs by attempting to add in his own 'flare'.

6.5/10

Motion City Soundtrack- I love this band. This will probably be another biased review, as this is my favorite band to date. I can sing any song fully on their first two CDs (saying they have 3 CDs makes that less impressive though). What can I say? Their message of always being down but trying to get up (both mentally) and the storys behind them carry alot of weight for anyone in highschool. Their selling point of making you feel older by merging their more mature problems with the same ones we can feel here and now is amazing, and being able to completely emerse you in what they're trying to converge to you in both lyrics and the mood set by the rest of the band really hits home. They've been with me through the best and worst, so once again, that may be biased. Either way.

9.5/10

My Chemical Romance- Dont like this band because of all the hype and media attention they get? Well fuck off. This band is great. Starting off with 'generic emo' when 'generic emo' was budding into fruitation, their second CD was a good enough change to make them as recognizable as their first one with out losing fans, and gaining a whole lot more. Their third, while sickening to some people, opened up a new door for other people, and allowed them to listen to the second and first with out being scared. This band knows its audience, and it aims to please, but hopefully they learned their lesson by attempting to go 'full mainstream' with TBP, and will stop the change right now. TCFSR is their high light in my opinion, and another CD like that would be awesome.

8.5/10

Panic(!) at the Disco- With two CDs sounding like two completely different bands, its hard to say much here. The first CD was a divergent from the 'lets complain about myself' voices of the time and decided to attack the media and all its viewers, completely mezmorizing listeners with great ambience and an amazing singer. They decided to have some fun and do a 1920s fantasy esque sequal to their first CD, and released some crazy random tracks, none of which harkened to their first CD. But they worked on improving the band as a whole, rather then relying on their singer as they did from the first CD, which makes me anticipate very much their next CD. If they can combine the great sound of the first with the amazing band of the second, truelly they will rise in greatness.

8.5/10

Panima- Largely unheard of, for what reasoning I don't know. Very much so like Inept, heres a band that stands out. While attempting to hit people more politcally then most bands, they do it with a solid singer behind them, and a band that has alot of potential. If even one song of theirs gets attention, the inspiration that will cause them can turn them into an amazing new mainstream band.

7/10

Rascall Flats- Yes, more country. But a country BAND! I really dont consider these guys country. I consider them country as much as I consider Panic! emo music. Sure, you can stretch it and say they're the same. But they're not. So classifying them as soft rock, they're pretty generic, with a more down to earth feel. Some nice powerful lyrics there.

7.5/10

Say Anything- Heres a review I've been waiting for. I've put this band off since they came out, only last year listening to them. Then waiting half a year to even touch the second album. I don't know what it is, but they're really hard to get into, but once you even get hooked by ONE song (not either single) then the rest just absorbs you. And there you go, an entire supply of some nice, good music to keep you occupied for months. It has everything there, good singles, good rock out, good chill, good pity music, and things I can't even describe. The cameos in the second CD make you excited, and the never ending first CD makes you want to sing along. Heres an overall good band that, once you start, you cant ever stop.

9/10

Senses Fail- I just recently started listening to this band. My first impression was this. Fuck yes. Heres some damned good emo music with screamo not over done, mixed in properly the way it should be done. This is emo done right. Hell, if you even want to call it emo. If 'emo done right' sounds this good, give it a whole nother genre. First CD falls under classic emo, band still finding itself, not too sure of what its doing, but you get the point across. The other two hit the nail on the head. Mixing in his personal experience with what he feels passionetly about, all the while not coming off as a whiny prick, this is a band that knows what its listeners want. And thats a 'fuck the world' message, with some awesome guitar rifts and some screaming to let people know how you feel. The messages he gets across make you want to just say "Damn, thats right!". Well.... most people.

9.5/10

System of a Down/Serj Tankian- I don't need to say much here. They've enough reviews with out me confusing you. No score. Not like they need my attention.

Taking Back Sunday- Where are these guys? I liked the first CD, loved the second CD. Just some good solid rock music. Awesome solos, great vocalists, just an overall good band. Gonna close it on that till they make a new CD.

8/10

Toyko Police Club- I love this band. As relaxed and chilled as they are, all it reminds me of is 'pwnen n00bs' (that made me shiver to type.) and killen' people at WoW and W@W. At the same time. I miss Christmas break....

oh right, the review. So the first CD is.... weird. It's like they haven't found their voice, but they're trying. Seems like they got it right the first time, as the first song is amazing, and they transfer that sound over into the second CD. I feel like theirs a story behind each song, but with repetitive and confusing lyrics, I'm not sure whats happening. Other then that, the sound is good, and while I love the band to death, sometimes a good sound isn't everything. Not the best band, but with some direction, they could be amazing.

7.5/10

The Used- Go read my MCR review. I promise, its almost word for word of what this one will be.

No? Ok... The first CD was good, theirs no doubting it, and it got a fanbase pretty quickly. But with the second one came an attempt at mainstream, and a damned good one at that, but apparently that upsets fanbase, so fuck. I liked it. I always like the second CD more, even though no one else does. MCR, TBS, TPC, the list goes on. This is just another case of that.

8/10

Weatherbox- Mix Senses Fail with Manchestor Orchestra and thats this band. Angry, yet soft, yet bad ass, yet smooth. I guess you can add in Tokyo Police Club's slight repetitive ness, but it doesn't take as much away in this case. The point gets across nicely, and the band knows how to play their instruments, while the singer knows what he's doing. Theirs just something missing, and I can't tell what it is....

7.5/10

AND DONE! SLEEP TIME!

So alone....

2009-04-19T04:32:00.003-05:00

So here I am, sitting in Sean's brother's room on my laptop, playing geometry wars (2) listening to Cobra Starship. As I just remembered that my day was actually quite an adventure, I think I'll touch on a few subjects, even though I'm going to talk about them later in person anyways. Blah....

So we're chilling at my house just talking, when he decides he's going to go home and get ready then come back for me later. Fine with me, I have to get ready also. (He's forcing me to go to FOB, but Cobra Starship and 50cent will be there, so cool.) Anyways, about 2 hours later, I'm clean, and so is my house. Wonderful. Except.... my front yard is flooded. So is the road outside. Theirs no entrance in or out to my neighborhood. So, my brother cant go to work, we play SF4, i kick his ass and he gets very upset. Sean says he'll try later, blah blah blah....

I get a call from him saying he hit my car. I thought he was kidding. NOPE! I don't have the details, but I think my mom was behind him and he backed up and BAM, hit my car. Yay! I was actually pretty relaxed about it though. I'm kind of glad it was my car and not some random asshole who would just yell and cause him to get pissed or something. I don't know. This way its less of a hassle I guess.

ANYWAYS!

So, I'm forced to walk to Fancy Food store to meet up with him, since by car its flooded, but by foot its not. It then takes is an hour to get out of Friendswood. Every single entrance to this damned city was flooded. *sigh*. Sean's car was a damned boat today. And apparently, the engine stalled for split seconds, and he didn't tell me till we got home. Great....

So, we head over there, and as is per custom of ALL concerts we head to, we get lost. But this time it wasn't that bad, we just checked the GPS (AKA iphone) and we were back on track.

But the concert was cancelled. YUP! even though it says "Rain or shine" on the damned ticket, apparently thats a lie. So, we decided to go to some nearby mall. Nice mall. I had no money, which was a good thing, cause their was alot of things I would have bought. We wanted pizza earlier, but apparently the iphone app lied to us and said their was a pizza place where their wasn't. So, when we exit the mall, imagine our surprise to see a Pizza Hut where I did not remember one being. Surely a Godsend.

We eat.

Yup.

Oh wait, there is something interesting that happened at pizza hut.

When I walk into the bathroom, theirs 2 stalls, both next to each other, both facing the door. Small bathroom. The right one is closed, beckoning me to go inside and relieve myself. The left one.... has an occupant. With clothes everywhere. Yeah, he was changing. His shirt was hanging on the wall inbetween my stall and his, so I kind of jumped when the shirt randomly disapeared while I was peeing. I got some on the seat, not going to lie. He kept making ruffling noises, too. And I think he was coughing. I really wondered if I was going to die in that stall. I finished fast, hoping what ever zombie creature was actually in there didn't befall me, and make my clothes the new addition to his already growing collection.

OH, and their was a bitch redneck mom who kept threatning her kids for, well, being kids. The little girl was just singing, and she kept threatning to punch her. And when the little kid accidently turned up the volume on his DS, she threathned to snatch it from him and throw it. Meanwhile the new BF of hers (obviously not his kids, and they didn't call him did or anything) just sat there, not talking to her, but encouraging the kids to be kids. I wanna call child services.

After that we left. And got stuck in traffic. For two hours. We mostly just told jokes and whatnot. He kept coming on to me though. I was scared.

OH, right, the homeless lady. We were at a red light behind some cars, and sean goes "look, homeless people!". But while he was looking at the poor people, the light turned green. And he did not go. So, I hurried him along, but before we could make it to the light, it turned yellow, then quickly to red.... and we were first in line. Right next to sean's beloved homeless people.

So there we sat, trying desperatly not to make eye contact with them. But they did something unexpected. They cheated. They used a weegie and STARTED CLEANING HIS WINDOW! I could not contain myself. I started laughing hystarically. It was so ironic. Sean was oggling the homeless people, and because of it he was forced to watch as they washed his window. And they got to watch as I laughed my ass off. I kind of felt bad for laughing. But it was still funny. Sean rolled down his window and gave them 2 bucks. TWO BUCKS! He payed two bucks because he wanted a side show and didn't pay attention to the traffic light. Funny.

After that my night is boring. Well, to tell it anyways. I've enjoyed myself.

I think I've done enough damage for the day.

Future use

2009-04-19T02:13:00.003-05:00

A streak of light shot from the sky into the ground, right as he jumped out of the way. He ducked and rolled as another shot out from right where he was standing.
"Fucken starfire." he muttered to himself. As he saw the Mendico bastard muttering up another spell. He felt the air around him tighten. A combustion.... He put a shield up right away, hoping it would take most of the impact. It barely got up in time, letting some of the fire come in. Too close....

He let too much time stall. The caster was already upon his next spell. His heightend sense of hearing caught a word that sounded like a cognate for push. He didn't have to second guess what was going to happen next. But this time he was going on the offensive. He summoned the energy surrounding him from the last attacks and braced himself. The wall of energy rushed towards him, ready to push him, probably into another spell, and into a never ending combo of pain. Not exactly something he was looking forward to. Instead he would turn it right back on him. There was a combo he had been able to complete in meditation, and here was a good chance to use it in the 'real world'.

His timing was perfect. As the energy came, he put his arms out, stopped it, sepperated it, let it linger in his hands, and pushed off against it, sending him flying towards his opponent. The caster had no time to react, as he was already saying his next spell, so when his face was punched towards the ground, he could do nothing. The next part of the combo was a knee to the stomach, which was easy as his body was already in the position to do so, the whole reason for the punch. As his knee left the boy's stomach, he quickly replaced it with his fist, using his legs and arms to lift him off the ground with a powerful uppercut. Rather then let it end and allow his opponent to fall to the ground, he decided he would be gracious, and lend a hand. He grabbed the boy's arm, swung him around once and lavishly threw him towards the earth, sending energy beams to help guide his way, even if just a few happened to hit him square in the body and face.

He slowly allowed gravity to control him again, landing with grace. He cracked his knuckles, and let out a big yawn, stretching as he did.

"Josh must be wondering where I went. Either that, or he has his own hands full. Either way, I'm sure he'll be elated to see me. Isn't that right, tough guy?"

He looked over at the mess of a person that was not too long ago as arrogant as he was. It merely sat up, groaned, and collapsed back onto the floor.

"Haha, that's right. Sleep well, kid. You've a message to send back."

All nighter? Naw....

2009-04-17T23:23:00.002-05:00

I have about 30min left, and while I could ramble on about my day, I don't really remember anything that happened before 2:30. Pretty sure it was an A day, i remember sleeping in Brewer's. Other then that, its all gone.

Afterwards I was 'kidnapped', and 'forced' to play Street Fighter all day. Fun fun.

Got home, my mom was pretty pissed that I was about to leave with out telling her (She was asleep, I don't like being woken up, I assume the same for everybody.) So decided to stay home. My dad was pretty relaxed about it. I think he likes the fact that I'm getting out of the house. Even if it is to play video games, the reason he doesn't want me at home. *sigh*

Looks like FIG (Friendswood is great)fest is cancelled for tomorrow. Which saddens me, cause now I have no reason to stay up all night and be really tired when I help, with nothing but coffee by my side.

I've noticed that everyone else mentions names, and they have direct remarks towards everyone else. I think I've done this once. And it was in parenthesis, so I don't think that counts. Though I could be wrong, but I'm too lazy to look through my old posts. Fuck that.

Theirs alot of things I could rant about. But I just don't want to. I don't want people to know my problems. I want to help other people with theirs. Because my 'problems' all seem so silly and trivial compared to other people's. I think I've touched on this subject before. So I'll try not to talk too much about it.

I wan't to play WoW. But my laptop is somewhere downstairs, and this comp is too much a POS to handle it. It almost died when I brought up firefox that had 10 tabs in it. Pussy.

I'm cursing alot right now. I try not to lately. I also try not to make fun of others. I've found it really unpleasent lately, so I wont return the favor. Instead, I'll give a weird look, maybe say something else, just say 'i hate you', or something else. I've just found blagerant mocking to no longer be fun. It makes someone else feel like shit, and they'll only want to send it back. And thats no fun.

I've noticed that most of what gets picked and talked about in these bloggs is what we actually would say to each other. For instance, if right now I were to go off on a random bash on Jason or Kyle, thats what would be talked about. But if the rest of the post were to touch the subject of world peace or the cure for cancer, not a word would be spoken. In comments maybe, but never in person. I think the best example of this is that, what I typed about my mom will probably be talked about, and made fun of. That last sentence as well, a very liable attack. But the above paragraph, along with most of the contents of this one, will never be brought up. No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to see the fine lines. I'm not sure if this is good or bad.

Then again, maybe that last paragraph was just too much of a wall of text to be taken 'seriously'. I don't do this as a joke, I'm not out for attention towards myself. I've concluded that probably the only one who takes this as seriously as I do is also the only one who reads the entirety of my blogg, being Jason. Which is almost demeaning. Almost.

Tomorrow will be my "Me and Kyle fighting in Western theme/steampunk theme". I'm going to see if I can get both up, if not more. Like a space theme or something.... maybe even an underwater fight scene. We'll see how this plays out.

I think I've done enough damage for the day.

Window talk

2009-04-16T22:14:00.002-05:00

He stared out the window, just thinking, letting his mind wander, letting his brain take hold of him. It was night. The stars were out. He could clearly define every single constellation out there. Even with the planes going by, confusing the stars from the lights. He wondered about those planes. About the people on them. Were they going somewhere important? To a business meeting? Or just to see some family. Is it a happy occasion? Did someone get married? Or is it a funeral. Family and friends always have a party after a funeral. He wondered if somewhere, some drunk guy from a party to celebrate his dead brother was being dragged by friends and family alike to his car, while he stared up at the star, which was staring back at him.

We both wish this were true

2009-04-15T21:32:00.005-05:00

Alec had just left a party and was heading to his car, when he heard a voice say
"Hey, guy! Yeah, you! I remember you. Get over here." The guy didn't look happy. He was alot taller than most people, and while he did look persistently asian, one wouldn't be too far off to say he was part polish.

"Yeah? Who are you? What do you want?" Alec replied, hoping this was just some misunderstanding.

"The name's Kyle. You're the one who bad mouthed the war, and how we didn't need all those gears."

If he was looking for a fight, this wouldn't be his first this night. It was very visible on Kyle that he had been in many scuffles tonight, as apparent from his torn sleeves, lack of shoes and messy vest. Not to mention he had no jacket.

"Yeah, so what? I had many valid arguments." The conversation came back to him. "Its not my fault you cant see truth." But he wouldn't be able to talk his way out of this one. Kyle summoned an energy ball in his right hand, showing it off, letting him know what was bound to happen. With a sigh, Alec loosened his tie, took off his jacket, unbuttoned his collar button, and was off in a flash.

He dashed towards Kyle, letting his right foot swing for his head. Kyle was prepared, and immediatly ducked, letting Alec go over and past him a few feet. Not wanting to lose his slight advantage, he sent a blast towards Kyle, who had a shield up for it just in time. After the blast disentigrated on the shield, he pushed the shield out, letting it become a projectile. Not wanting to get caught in this deadly game, Alec dived out of the way, getting to his feet and making a run towards his foe. He sent two punches Kyle's way, a left and a right. The first was dodged by Kyle leaning back, and the other parried with his left hand. He used his strength advantage to over power Alec's punch with his left hand, and sent his right careening for his face. Alec ducked as fast as he could, and saw an opening. He uppercutted Kyle in the stomach while his arm was still out, making him grasp for breathe. In a quick decision, Kyle sent his elbow right into Alec's back. Trying not to buckle under the immense force, lest he be vulnerable and soon defeated. He sent a shockwave of energy from his body, which was very risky. It drained him for a few seconds, leaving him open to attack, but it pushed his enemy a few feet away, giving him time to recover physically.

Kyle, not wanting to go back into the tango they just performed, jumped high into the air. He let his hands summon energy, and threw three charged ones towards his opponent below. Alec kicked off against the ground, jumping out of the way of the first two, but catching the third with his left hand, spinning around, putting his right hand over it while spinning, and putting his wrists together, palms out, sending it right back towards Kyle, along with his own energy added in. The resulting beam rocketed towards Kyle, who barely knew what to do. All he could think to do was move out of the way, and as it barely streaked by him, the immense power of it still drained him a little. Before he knew what happened, Alec was on the move again, flying at high speed towards him. He threw a punch his way, but Kyle caught it, and sent his foot into Alec's face.

As he fell towards the earth, streaks of light passed by him, as Kyle tried to shoot his target even further. Alec caught himself right before he hit the ground, but the huge figure hurdling towards him gave little time to think. He swept himself to the side right before Kyle struck, and with his energy, shoved kyle into the ground, giving him no ability to slow himself down before he struck the earth.

Alec leapt backwards, staying clear of the crash site, lest Kyle have some trick up his sleeve. He expected a blast to come from under him, or a shockwave of the ground to barrel his way, but nothing. He knew he hadn't won, so he stayed there, waiting.

"You're fast, kid. But that means nothing. I'll crush you like the little bug you are." The huge figure rose from the crater, this time hands glowing. Alec prepared himself.

A barrage of missles came his way, and he had a choice between dodging or returning fire. He chose both. As he jumped and rolled his way through wave after wave of energy balls, he caught some and threw them back, while nullifying and blocking others, all while attempting to get closer. When he finally got to his opponent, they traded kicks and punches, blocking and parrying each other, all the while still letting energy burst from their hand in the vain attempt it would strike its target.

Alec let a swing go with his right arm, but when it was dodged, he decided to attempt to ram Kyle with his shoulder instead. Kyle blocked them both with the same hand, and when Alec finally lost momentum from his thrust, Kyle pushed him back and let both his hands send out a blast. Alec put both his arms in front of his face, blocking the blast the best he could, not seeing the knee coming right for him. He took it straight in the face, his entire body bending and flying backwards. He slipt in and out of consciencesness in a split second, and when he came to, he realized he was still in the air, semi flipping. He put his arms out, catching the ground with his hands, and pushed himself in the air, landing the flip upright. His face hurt, and his back was aching, but he wasn't going to lose. Not like this.

Kyle was already upon him, letting his fist hit the ground as Alec moved out of the way. Alec swung his right arm backhanded as kyle ducked it, but Alec's body continued to spin, and he put his foot out, catching kyle and tripping him. He spun back around just in time to hit kyle square in the chest with a heavy blast, sending him flying backwards.

"Paybacks a bitch, ass."

He wasn't going to allow Kyle the time to recover that he had so foolishly given him. He dashed towards his flying opponent, and as kyle caught himself and tried to go backupright, Alec punched him at full speed right in the gut. Kyle's breathe was punched out of him, but his incredible charisma wouldn't let him give up. He grabbed Alec's body with two hands and spun over, slamming him into the ground.

Both fighters, laying on the ground in agony, slowly tried to get up. They sent blasts at each other, though the opposite would always put up a shield and block it.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" A small girl came up angerly, unimpressed by the battle that took place. "I'm appalled at both of you. Kyle, you really need to calm down. You can't ALWAYS be right. And Alec, you should know better then to provoke him. Let alone actually let this fight get out of hand so fast."

Alec seemed confused "I barely know this guy...."

"Well either way, I'm ashamed of you. Just go home. Both of you go home."

As she stood inbetween them both, they walked off in shame. Neither had won. Not really. But both were sure that they could have kicked the other's ass.

Freedom..... ?

2009-04-14T21:56:00.002-05:00

I saw one of my best friends turn 18 today. Well.... I didn't actually see it happen. That would require me hovering over her while she slept and the clock turned 12:00. CREEPY!

But I was there at her party. I got to see the people besides myself that have been there for her. The one's I hear stories of, the ones who did this, and were there for her when that happened, etc. The funny thing is, I was also apart of the group of people that did this at that time, or was this when she needed that. It felt good. To know I've been there for someone for the past few years. Even if it was just a kind word, or a warm invitation to be apart of my family. I've tried to share that with others, but she's needed it most. I don't want to get into complications, but lets just say her turning 18 relieves her of alot of unwanted stress.

I'm not here to brag about 'yeah, i'm a bad ass in her life', no. Most of those people were there for her long before, and in a much bigger way then I ever was. And I just wish I had more people like that in my life. That no matter what happens, they'll be there. Theirs a country song that touches on that subject. something like "You find out who your friends are." I like that song.

I got my graduation stuff today. That kind of scares me. My letterman across the room from me says '09'. The journal next to me says '09'. The shirt hanging on my door says '09'. And all of the stuff in the bag I got today says '09'. Its just hard to believe. I'm about to get a crash course into the real world. I've done my best to stay as immature as possible, but now I've been forced to realize that that has only destroyed my ability to transicion properly into the life after highschool. I've fucked myself over by trying to have as much fun while I could. I've made myself forgetful, lazy, indecisive, self destructive. And nothing to show for it except memories.

I'm done ranting. This isn't the part I like people reading about, it's more for myself then anyone else. So I'll try and get a story up. Even if only a few of you read them.

Still no charge

2009-04-13T22:17:00.004-05:00

Huge project due tomorrow. Actually, we're not sure if it's due tomorrow or thursday, but better safe then sorry. Shower, quick story, then notecards.

Ugh, it seems writers block is killing me today, and while I'm sure only 2 (at most) of you read my storys, I still feel like I've failed myself in away by being unable to write. My inadequacy strikes again!

I'm a lazy bass tard.

2009-04-13T22:17:00.001-05:00

Looks like Kyle voted....

Not based off of me

2009-04-12T23:00:00.003-05:00

I could hear them yelling about me in the principle's office. And even though I could only make out a few words, I already knew what it was about. Skipping school, so much potential, grades in the gutters, acing tests, blah blah blah. I had heard it all so many times before. How I could do great things, if I set my mind to it. But about half of those times I heard that was not towards me.

It seemed like everyone that was a 'genius' failed, and everyone who barely understood anything passed with flying colors. Do you know how many times I've seen someone ask a thousand questions, never get over a C on a test, but ace the class? And yet, those of us who sat in the back and talked got flying colors on tests, yet were punished for not doing homework. It seemed unfair. Those with brain capacity were put down, yet the stupid and motivated got through. And they were to represent America's Finest.

But I didn't care about any of that. I just wanted to hang out with friends and get laid. Seemed like an easy goal. Seemed. But they didn't understand. What they saw as a future for me was really a future for them. So that I could work and fund their retirement. So I could be shown off as a poster child, like some medal on the wall. They didn't get it. I didn't care about school. It was the same thing every day for 200-some days, 12 years straight. And they dont even teach anything of relevance to the real world. Well, except PE.

They were still arguing about me. I knew what it was about this time. How I should drop out, go to some smart people school where my brain can be 'challenged', and how I should get a job to pay off the vandalism charges. I found the two things being in the same conversation amusing. But I didn't want to be challenged. I wanted to have fun. The only things I wanted a challenge is were sports, video games, and girls. Though not too much of a challenge on that last one. Just enough to make it feel worth it.

I finally got fed up with it. With their decisions. With their decisions of my life. My bike was right outside. School wasn't out yet, but I decided when school was out. And right now, I didn't feel like it was too in. So I left. Grabbed my bike, unlocked it, just left the chain and key right there and peddled. I don't remember peddling too hard. I knew I couldn't get far. So I just cruised. I'm not sure what happened next. I remember it was dark, and I wasn't sure how it got so. I guess I spaced out during my 'cruise'. The sudden realization that I had been peddling for hours brought upon the hunger pains, along with my legs wanting to fall off. After that, I remember the headlights of the car, and thats about it. I woke up the next morning in the hospital, my mom crying, then slapping me (the doc wasn't happy about that) and them telling me I was lucky to be alive and well. But why was I lucky? I still had 'home' to go to, parent to explain to, school to go to. I wanted to be left alone. So many people deciding what was right for me, and I wanted to tell them to shut up. That they were wrong.

Turns out, I was the one who was wrong.

My life reads like the classifieds.

2009-04-12T22:05:00.002-05:00

While we were driving around, I felt like being nostalgic. I put on some old songs from back in Sophmore year (does not feel that long ago. Maybe cause it isn't?) and just listened. Got hit with memories of my WoW raiding days (All the way to BWL in 3 months, lolwut?)when TBC came out, of when I met Audrey, of my stupid classes, of all those ROTC events I loved, the football games, of all that downtime at which I just imagined and invented my worlds (my first ever even thinking of writing), and aaaaaalllll those concerts. Fun times. Miss it. Then I decided to go a little further and listen to 'The Academy Is...'. I had forgotten why I liked that band so much. Then I remembered. They speak to me. There was one song I remember that Sean's senior friends really liked by them, and I thought it was 'meh'. Listening to it AS a senior, I see why. Here are the lyrics that stand out. (Song: Down and Out)

Now that I'm grown I've seen marriages fall to pieces.
Now that I'm grown I've seen friendships fall to pieces.
Weekend warriors, and our best friends.
The writers weren't kidding about how
all good things must end.
Then again some things
Then again some things are far too good
Some things are far to good to go ahead and let go.

Always up or down, never down and out. 
You dream of demons while you sleep 
that make you stutter when you speak. 
We won't forget Tony or Johnny. 
No matter how they miss us they still wish us 
the best on the road. 
Garrett took a plane to Paris, France. 
Now he's cooking up entrees for the pretty, pretty French girls. 
Bookends, Blue and Clarity, to The Wall and Grace. 
Darkside, Wish and a toast to the late Figure 8. 

Weekend warriors and our best friends. 
The writers weren't kidding, but
the good things will live in our hearts. 



That, and I really think these lines describe me.(the song is called Classifieds)

My life reads like the classifieds.
Pages of what's for sale; whats on the auction block.
Attention bidders! Its lot 45.
He's got a decent voice, he's got that crooked smile.
Hold on, you havent heard the best yet.
He writes great storylines, he's got those honest eyes.
So take him home for just $9.95.
He'll sing the songs you like, he'll keep you warm at night.

*shrug* that probably sounds silly. Or dumb. I don't care. I've treated this thing more like a mental dump then I have a way to keep you people informed. And I'm not about to change that.

I slept most of the way home. So I'm not tired at all. I'm just here on my rocking chair, eating a salad, waiting for michelle to text back. As much as I hang out with friends, I've realized that I know nothing about them. I don't really keep secrets, and the ones I do aren't because I want to be secretive, but because either A) no one asks or B) no one really needs to know. Its not relevant to anything. But the only thing I know about most of the people I hang out with is that they A) Like to play video games B) they like food and C) they love to have random inside jokes. And while thats fine and makes for good company, it doesn't show for much. Those aren't the kind of people you look back on and say "Damn, those were some great friends, I'm going to miss them". Its no different from looking back on partying days, drinking and whatnot.

Out of everyone I hang out with in our 'group', Lisa is the one that I actually know the best. Which is weird considering that I havent talked to her since 8th grade before this year, yet I've talked to Taylor and Kyle since freshman year. Jason is also pretty open, but he jumbles it with his weird sense of humor. So I cant ever tell if hes being funny or serious, which isn't a good combo. Kyle stays as closed as a clam, never letting ANYONE (that I know of) into his own little world. Maybe hes a robot. *shrug* And Taylor, well hes already admitted to not being an open person, but sometimes I wonder how much of him is fake and when hes being his true self.

This wasn't supposed to be a "Lets ragg on all my friends" blogg. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of everyone. Maybe I myself am wondering about my identity. I've had these kinds of 'talks' with Lisa and Sarah before, but like I said, I dont like to keep secrets. And I guess with a writing outlet it makes these words easier to say. I've always been easier with words that are typed. I'm not expecting everyone to read this then go to school with a different mindset and tell me all their problems. I don't want that. Then again, I'm not sure what I want. But who does, right?

I hope Taylor is ok. But, in all honesty, I don't see why he wouldn't be. I just hope he took my advice. Nothing has to be awkward. I'm really more worried about Grace, in all honesty. Not because of emotional distraughtness at first, but because we're her last 'close' friends, and I don't want to see her lose that because everyone resents her because of what happened. Its not fair. But not much of life is. I just hope these two can set aside their differences and be friends. Like they were before. I just hope he learned one valuable lesson out of it all.

Peer pressure is a bitch.

I've ranted quite a bit. I've had alot on my mind while driving home. So I dumped it all here. Maybe someone will find it offensive. Good. You learn more from critisism then you do from a compliment. I don't care what people think of me. I've done things the way I want them done all year, why stop now? When they made fun of me for dressing nice, I persisted. When I was rediculed for reading a book that had a 'gay' cover, I persisted. When I'm not so good at a game, I persist. When I was rediculed for typing alot more then most others did in a blogg, and for not typing what they wanted me to, I persisted (fuck you, john). There are alot of things I cant control (yet), and alot of things I cant do (yet), but I do know this.

My father does not like it when I practise jumpstyle at 10:00 when hes trying to sleep.

I think I've done enough damage for the day. And I've done quite alot of damage.....

Five remotes, One TV.

2009-04-11T21:57:00.002-05:00

I'm at my Tia Becky's house again. Oh fun times. Going through my music and being nostalgic. My cousin keeps saying "I'm going to punch you in the head." which I find hilarious. I told her to say "Right in front of your friends" afterwards, but she always forgets. *sigh*.

Today was.... weird. I've felt like shit all day, literally as if I'm worthless. Its a horrible feeling. Lisa helped a bit, but I was only with her for about 45min. The drive over here sucked, felt like shit and tried desperatly to sink into music or sleep. The latter took hold first. When I woke up, we ate some Quiznos. I wanted Panda Express. Cholesterol count is a bitch. I finally semi-cheered up, little cousins seem to do that to me. That and the music finally took hold. It truelly is magical, music. Its like a religious experience (which I have had), and if you've never had either, then that sucks. Its amazing.

My Zune is being dumb. I just want the music from it onto my computer. *sigh* I might have another story tonight. I hope so. I haven't wrote anything in awhile. Makes me feel lazy.

I think I've done enough damage for the day

That blogg was short.

2009-04-10T23:14:00.003-05:00

It was very short. So I'll type more.

Looks like I'm not going to Brownsville. My brother wont be there. Which sucks. I haven't seen him since Christmas. For anyone who has an older or younger sibling and thinks that it sucks, its worse when they leave. Alot of things unsaid.

On a less depressing note, I will (hopefully) be doing something awesome tomorrow. If all goes well, what it is should be able to go unsaid. I don't have my phone right now. *sigh*. This is a really boring blogg. Wish I could hire Demetri Martin to do it for me. *sigh* I've got about 30min to finish this up. Ugh, I hate ranting.

I feel like I have one of the most awesome life, I don't work, I have a good group of friends, no bullys, no real ands true worries. But it makes me feel bad because other people around me have true problems that affect them on a daily basis, or just make it hard for them to get through the day. My friends Sarah and Lizzie are perfect examples of this. This last thing was kind of depressing, and for that I'm sorry. Guess this is my one post where I get to vent.

I think I've done enough damage for the day.

I got an award

2009-04-10T23:11:00.002-05:00

Went to ROTC awards night. Had some fun. Too bad the DJs litterally did NOT know what techno was. Gay. Now I'm attempting to jumpstyle real bad. ugh....

Street figheterific day.

2009-04-09T22:43:00.002-05:00

I've got about an hour left to blogg, so I'll just talk about my day. School, buffalow WW, Streetfighter. Then I had to go get my stuff back from Lisa, and taylor wanted to see her house. Which I thought was rude. And weird. I still want to write something for the day. I'll do that later.

Tomorrow is a friday even though its a thursday? lolwut?

2009-04-08T21:22:00.002-05:00

Quick story, I have crazy dreams, and I want to tell this one, because its the first one that I've had since I started blagging.

I know Taylor, Grace, Erin, Sean (not burroughs) and possibly Jason were there. For some reason, I was flipping shit, shaking violently on the floor (or was it my bed? Don't really know. I do know I was covered) and felt like I was going to explode. Literally, like I could feel fire in me trying to destroy everything. And that's exactly what was happening. I was trying not to explode myself (I haven't watched heroes in awhile, but thats what it reminded me of.) Anyways, for what ever weird reason, Lisa comes over, sits down next to me, starts petting me and I calm down and fall asleep. Thats when I woke up. Kind of scared. Cause I don't want to blow up.

Other than that, I have no story for today. I'll get one tomorrow, probably finish the 'steam punk' story I was writing. *shrug*

I think I've done enough damage for the day.

Slept since 6:00

2009-04-07T21:40:00.002-05:00

Quick story about my day. Will, for what ever reason, only walks home when I do. He's admitted this. But its when he follows me home practically 90% of the way there that it gets problematic. And creepy. And thats what he did today. Though I kept questioning him on whether or not he was following me home, he denied it. Then, when I was about to turn onto my street, he runs off, only to realize his phone is dead and walks back to me to ask me for mine. *sigh*

From 3:00 to 6:00 I just talked to Michelle on the phone and browsed the internets. Awesome combo I must say. Then from 6:00, I decided to take a nap. Two hours later, I 'woke up' and just sort of lied there, texting people and thinking. I only now (9:20, not 10)decided to get up, for the main reason that I needed to blogg.

Ok, so it wasn't a quick story about my day. A good portion of my blogg ended up about my day, something I said wouldn't happen. Sue me. Gonna take a shower now, this will be left up and what ever gets typed, I am not accountable for (even though I am)

The hum of the plane could be heard for miles, its three Mustang engines roaring loudly against the dawning sky. Its pilot maneuvered it with ease, banking it left to be able to look headlong at the many children heading for class. Some pointed up at the craft, having heard and memorized what it was, but never actually seeing one before. Especially not this close. A shame, he thought. He was coming up to the canyon, his favorite part. Many people lived on the top of the cliffs, while jobs and mining facilities were offered on its floor and walls. A series of pullies, lifts, and tunnels allowed its occupants to safely navigate its many floors, with bridges being shot across by chain guns when someone needed to cross. He turned so that his plane was completely diagonal so he could fit it inside the canyon walls. As he navigated his way through, he could once again see the people getting up for work, or those already hard at work on their computers. Such tools. As the canyon walls ended, he saw nothing but flat land. He uprighted his plane, and turned off the engines, letting it glide and hoping not to make a sound as he landed.

I got tired typing this, mainly because I don't know where I'm going with it. For another day....

Freeze warning? In spring? Very nice

2009-04-06T22:01:00.002-05:00

Same as last time, going to leave this open, and what ever gets typed is fair game. Hope I get something good this time. Tired of love stories.

Here we follow the Nameless Rocker as hes walking down the street
He doesn't need all the attention, or the people bowing at his feet
He simply loves his music, and he knows how to play it well
If you ever criticize him he wont try to give you hell
He just wants to spread his sound and let people listen in
On what he personally thinks is a gift given from within
Now hes not to be confused with the very 'Faceless Drummer'
Who lays down his bass so fast that you'd think its a gunner
His beats are crazy and his cymbals always a blare
He never misses a beat, it is just so rare
His arms are a blurr as he strikes each can
And there is no way to stop him as his drumsticks become his hands
Now I've spoken too much about these boys with magic fingers
Yet I've not let a word of the awesome 'Voiceless Singer'
She can solo a rhyme, or sing with a group
Though you'll probably cry at the sound being produced
And while you personally cant even hear a sound
You'll somehow now that it is time to get down
I bet you think I forgot the last of our incredible band
The very great Strumless Bassist from the promise land
He'll strike his cords with an unseen strike of his arm
And his sexy groove can be heard out in the farms
And of course he can keep up with the lead guitar
He'll get a solo and take it way too far
Now I've spoken of whats the impossible
But to not believe would to be so cold
There are many things that go unexplained
So the thought of this band isn't very strange
Now I must be going, but one last thing I must say
In the city's quietest nights sometimes you hear them play.

Why?

2009-04-06T20:13:00.002-05:00

Twitter is down..... interesting..... Not much to say, I'll post again later. Kinda sleepy at the moment. Accidentally took a two hour nap. Apparently its impaired my spelling ability.

Shower Story

2009-04-05T22:08:00.002-05:00

Writing this off the top of my head. Its what ever idea presents itself in the shower.

Ok, got one, though I like this idea as a short film also, and might make it with the aide of either Lisa or Sarah, (or someone else)

Edit: This story was supposed to be alot shorter then it turned out to be, I only had the beginning and the end in my head, and originally, instead of him meeting up with his friends, he just met up with her and then something aken to what I put as my end happened. I don't know where everything else came from, and I almost want to take it out, but I'll leave it in and do the video with how I originally saw it.

"What? I said at 3:00 PM, why would I want flowers at school at 3:00 AM? That doesn't even make any sense!"

This is George. He's a bit flustered at the moment.

"Ok, fine, the flowers wont be on time, but what about the balloons? Did you atleast get that right?!"

See, theirs this girl he likes, and with that infatuation also comes the stress of Prom coming up.

"Yes? Ok. Just wondering, but how did you get the balloons at the right time but not the flowers? I mean, they ARE on the same order!"

And adding the stress of wanting to have a good prom with the fact that the girl you want to take to said prom is still unspoken for makes for one hell of a time finding the courage to ask her.

"No, I'm not being touchy with you. YES I STILL WANT THE ORDER! I admit it will be weird that she gets the flowers at a weird time, but atleast she'll get the balloons with the question in them."

Not really knowing how to compose himself long enough to ask her with his own vocal cords, he's decided to take a less..... direct approach to his problem. By throwing money at it.

"Ok, ok thats fine. Now can you please repeat the spelling of her name back to me? I want to make sure you got that right as well."

Unfortenatly for him, his delivery service isn't being as cooperative as he had thought. But you already knew that, didn't you?

".... Ok, theirs SUPPOSED to be another 'e' at the end, but what ever, it still comes across fine. No I don't want to delay the order for you to correct it! By then, Prom will be over! How are you 'sure that that wont be a problem'?!"

So here he is, hiding in a bathroom stall at 1:00, getting everything done at last minute to make sure she gets the message as soon as school ends.

"No, YOU calm down, how did you even get this job?!"

I guess he'll never make that mistake again, huh? How ever, their is one thing he had'nt counted on.

"*sigh* ok, ok thank you for your time I guess....."
"Oh shit, bells about to ring, better go get my stuff."

As he walked to his desk, the bell rang, so he immediatly grabbed his stuff and went to meet with his friends. They all eventually met one friend, and then met up with another group of two who also met up earlier, eventually causing a smile pile up of random conversation before having to rush to class for lack of better timing. George always met up with Tyler before they met up with Chris and Jace. Jace's real name was Jack, but he got pissed if anyone ever called him that.

Tyler showed up at his spot, like he did every day. "Hey man, heard you were in the bathroom all day, and when someone went to go check on you, you were yelling at someone. What happpened, your shit finally get so rancid it fought back?"

"Haha, you're so fucking funny sometimes. Makes me forget that they pretty much abandoned your mother during her labor of you to go help give birth to a baby cow, all because they deemed it more important." The story was true, and why Tyler ever told it is really unknown. They always gave him shit about it. And he was pissed.

Tyler just looked at him with a glare and said "Fuck you....." around the time that Jace and Chris showed up.

Jace and Chris were very close friends, had been for years. It was a big joke in the group that they would get married, though neither of them were gay. And both of them conceded that it would probably happen.

Tyler lightened up a bit. "So, whens the big day?"

Jace grabbed Chris's hand, much to his reluctance, and held it up to show the lack of a ring.

"Hey man, what did I say about interlocking fingers? Its really not cool...."
Jace made a hurtful face, ignoring Chris's comment. "See this? He took off the ring. I don't know guys, hes been kind of distant lately."

Chris laughed his next sentence. "Distant? hah, I cant get far enough from you with out you on my nuts. Now let. Go. Of. My. Hand."

He finally was able to push him off, and gasped in relief, clutching his hand and checking it for any damages, though it was all for show. George kept looking around, hoping to see Michelle walk by. He knew she sometimes came down this hallway, and just wanted to talk to say hi, maybe get a hug.

Apparently his wandering eye caught Chris's attention, the two turned to him, with Jace letting out a "So, I heard about you and the bathroom incident. I hope it was your mom calling you to tell you a family member died, cause otherwise, I'm worried."

"For the last time, I don't call the sex lines." George had heard this joke before, and it was getting old.

"Ok, guy, but we're just here to help. And if its really getting out of line so much that you need to do it during school, then we have a problem."

Chris couldn't help but laugh out loud. He always did, and people stared at him all the time for it. But he didn't care. It was funny.

"Wasn't on the sex lines. Was calling about.... something else." Jace would never let him live it down if he found out he called, not only for a girl, but for a gift for a girl. He decided he would tell Tyler later.
"Oh shit, I gotta go, Mr. Onin's class is on the other side of the fucking school."

As he ran off he could here a comment about Tylers birth prospects, and couldn't help but smile.

When he finally got to class is was the same old same old. Notes, worksheet, lecture during worksheet, more notes, more lecture, and of course, alot of sleep. Government wasn't hard, but actually really easy. The worksheet was given at the beginning of class, and most of it was so basic that half the class was done with it before the second round of notes, at which point it became Nap Class. It had become a bit of a ritual, in all of Onin's class's, that when you were done with your paper you passed it on, at which point you could sleep and still have it back on your desk before he asked for them, with out having to lift a finger.

But on one side of the classroom, there seemed to be a commotion. It appeared that someone didn't want to give up their paper. And that someone happened to be Michelle. He cracked his knuckles, figuring he could kill two birds with one stone. If he could convince her to lend HIM his paper, then he could continue the cycle, and be able to talk to her and gain her trust a little bit more.

They were already sort of friends, but only the type of friend you talked to at school, and maybe send a few text messages during the day. But every now and then he would get a more flirtatious one, and it only strengthened his will to win her over.

When he got to her, she seemed a bit relieved. This, he decided, was a good sign.
"Hello mad'am" he jokingly remarked. "But what seems to be the problem?" He wanted to use this line when the surprise came on her face when she got her baloons. Oh well.
"Not much, this clown here wants my paper, but the entire year I've never seen him 'plug and pass'."
"Hmm.... well, others do seem to need their work done, and I know for a fact that they have valiantly done their fair share." He wondered if he had used the proper wording in that card to ask her.
"Yeah, you're right. How about this, I'll give you my paper, and you can pass it after you're done? Seeing as how you're already over here."
Score! He barely had to do anything, and he had got some nice flirtation time in. To top it all off, he didn't have to do his work today, which he had originally designated as a day of contribution to the class. Oh well. As he got back to his seat, he immediatly started copying. He couldn't help but daydream about Prom, about her reaction, about what she would do. Would she kiss him? Or just a big hug? There was no doubt in his mind she would say yes. He wondered for a moment if he was setting himself up for a let down, but let the idea go. He spent a good amount of money on this, and there was no way it would let him down.

He finished the 5th out of 20 questions. What would his buddies say about it though? Who cares, they would have to get used to it. The worry of whether or not the delivery guys will get it right loomed over head again.

10 out of 20 problems done. As he glanced at her hand writing to copy her work, he noticed how neat it was. Very contrasting to his, which had been constantly scolded by teachers for being illegible. He hoped that was one of the few contrasts. He realized how he hadn't even bothered to check her favorite color, and instead had chosen his for the balloons and flowers.

15 out of 20. He realized what an asshole thing to do. Worry came overhead again. What if she called him out on it? What if she named him selfish? Or hated green? It was a bit rediculous to think these things, but he couldn't help it.

He finished copying. He looked over at where she was sitting, and she looked kind of nervous. Like she was avoiding his gaze. His heart slowly sank, wondering if he had taken the wrong vibe the entire time and if she just now realized what she had been doing. He let out a sigh, tried to push his doubt out of his mind, and wondered if there was a back to his paper. He turned it over.

To see one of the most amazing things he had ever seen. And yet at the same time, it made him cringe. There, in beautifully hand drawn and colored letters were the words "Will you take me to prom?" With hearts and penguins showering it. How did she even KNOW he liked penguins? He would have to ask later. But the sudden realization that he had wasted so much money, so much time getting everything prepared. Only to be outdone with a drawing and meaning from the heart.

As he walked over, he met her gaze, and saw her blush, finding it the cutest thing he had ever seen. All his doubt, all his worry, for nothing. He would tell her about the flowers at 3:00AM and the balloons later. Right now he had something else to do.

When he got within normal speaking distance, she looked at him expectantly, and said "Well?"

He simply leaned over, kissed her on the cheek and whispered.

"Yes"

Cheesy bread?

2009-04-05T19:25:00.005-05:00

I'll leave twitter be.

2009-04-05T18:28:00.002-05:00

Tired of posting on twitter, thought I'd keep my blagg up, and when a random thought comes to my head, I'll push enter and type it. So, here goes!

I hate the song Sabotage.

stupid keyboard to USB jack that cost me 2$ doesnt work. Must kill asians.

Why do I have to play all the shitty songs on Rockband before I get to the ones I, you know, actually want to play?

Will my creative juices allow me to actually create a good short story for today? I may just make it one a week, seeing as how one a day is turning out to be a bitch.

My blagg is not ment to be funny. FUCK YOU JOHN.

I'm sorry if you dont have the attention span to read 5 minutes of text. FUCK YOU TOO TAYLOR!

I have pictures to send.

I should probably send them.

I wonder what Kyle's doing.

My mom made a turkey and some mashed potatoes and gravy today. It was like an extremely early Thanksgiving. And it was awesome.

My brother wants me to go to this anime/gaming convention thingy. If its the same one mehrun keeps trying to get Jason to go to, I'll pass.

I think I've done enough damage for the day.

I have a Wii shirt on.

2009-04-05T00:59:00.002-05:00

I must say, I am quite tired. Sleepy, really. Dont really feel like blogging. This wont count as my sunday blogg, promise. I'll get another up. Later. I'm really trying to do a short story per blogg rather then rant about how my day went. Because, you know, thats boring.

Looked spiffy today, Lisa was the only one who looked anywhere near dressed up as I did. Go check her blogg, pretty much explains how the day went. I'll blogg about prom tomorrow, cause it wasn't as bad as I thought, not at the end when I met up with some friends I didn't know would be there.

I still say we should have a formal lann party.

Finish it!

2009-04-03T23:59:00.001-05:00

I'm on a role, so this will be my post for Saturday, because I want to finish this story. And dagnabit, I will. So here it is. Also, I wonder if anyone gets my references....''

He lied down on his bed, thinking about what he was going to say if he decided to call. He slowly drifted off to sleep.

*bang* *bang* *bang*

"Wha-?"

*bang* *bang* *bang*

"ok, ok.... I'm coming."

*bang* *bang* *bang*

"Shut up!"

He turned the corner of his hallway to the OTHER hallway that leads past his kitchen and to his front door, while muttering something else about having a big house.

His windows were closed,which was weird because he didn't remember them being so. Either way, he couldn't see who was behind the door.

Suddenly the door was open.
"Surprise!" Everyone was there, Ryan, Joshua, Trey and Ally, Kelly, and even some other friends he hadn't seen since highschool. They were all holding presents and balloons, Motion City Soundtrack playing in the background.. He looked closer and there was some more friends he hadn't seen since middle school. And cousins that he had long since abandoned. But it wasn't until he saw Lacy there that it hit him. There she was, smiling, eyes wide just like the night that he gave her the exact necklace she was wearing now. But he knew better. Because she didn't have that necklace anymore. She threw it at him the day she found out. And no matter what the circumstances, she wouldn't be smiling that wide. Not at him. The music got louder, and as everyone stood there as if frozen in time, all smiles and happiness, 'Broken Heart'could clearly be heard.

He woke up to realize it was his ringtone. Meaning his phone was ringing. And it only played that song when....

"Lacy?!"
"hmmm? Oh, no, its me, Audrey"
He forgot.... There was two people that he assigned that ringtone to. But it didn't hold as much meaning with Audrey as it did two years ago.
"Oh, sorry, just some stuff on my mind"
"I can tell, hehehe" Her giggle reminded him of a simpler time. When drama was less drama
"Heh, yeah. So what have you been up to?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Twenty-five year old! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
He couldn't help but feel a smile across his face.
"Thanks. Here I thought you had forgotten."
"Me? forget your birthday?"
"Well it has happened before...."
"yeah, well you never got me a super awesome birthday gift the same year before."
"Oh, so is that what it takes?" He said sarcastically
"hah, you know thats not what I meant. I can't thank you enough for the digital book, but to go and make a deal that I get any book on here that I want for free? Thats amazing"
"Well, I have been trying to push more literature on you."
"I really dont want this to turn into a sour religious debate, AJ.... please...."
"I wasn't trying to. Promise. I have enough people mad at me as it is."
"You know I cant stay mad at you...."
"Well apparently some people can."
"You already told me what happened. And it was a bad decision on your part. But both sides of this need to grow up and face each other"
"Yeah...."
"In fact, you need to get off of this phone right now and call her, get this over with. I'm hanging up on you now. Goodluck."
"wait, dont-"
*click*

Two habits were broken at the same time. A sigh let loose, and then "It seems like this is becoming a reoccurring theme today, isn't it? But I can't call her.... I tried everyone else.... Maybe I should get a cat, that way when I talk, I can atleast say I'm soothing my kitty."

He looked at the clock. Only two hours had passed since he first sat down to write. He had a year, but still. Getting a book written out early means more of a vacation. Then again, what good is a vacation if you have no one to spend it with? He decided to take another nap. Maybe he could have another dream where things went right, and this time he wouldn't realize it.

His phone woke him up. It rang. The ringing of his phone woke him up. A violent thought ran through his mind about telemarketers, and he hit the 'end' button, which sent who ever(or what ever) it was to voicemail. But he might as well have hit the snooze button, because not even 5min later it went off. He turned over to see the number, not knowing it, but recognizing the area code. Probably a crossed line, since his phone had the same area code, though he was far away from where it resigned. He let it ring, hoping who ever it was would take a hint.

They didn't.

Finally fed up, he answered it.

"Look, I don't know who you're working for or what you're selling, but I-"
"A...Aj?"
He recognized the voice immediatly. It was a bit softer and more shy then he remembred, but then again the last time it was being used was in a yelling tone. It was her. It was Lacy.
"Um.... Am i dreaming? That may sound weird, sorry if its weird, but"
"haha.... no. I guess its not weird. Good to know you havent changed too much. Happy B-day by the way."
"Thanks, but uh.... is that the only reason you called? Because look, I'm really sorry, I just-"
He could hear crying on the other side
"Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this. Everyone told me not to call, and I did anyways."
"No, wait, please..... please.... I have alot to say. But I don't know if I can say it on the phone."
"Well why not?" He could hear her getting a bit more offensive now "What else is there to say?"
"Well I don't know, but I mean-"
"How about this, then. 'I'm sorry I lead you on for six months. I'm sorry you were only my 'back up plan''"
"Now wait just a second-"
"'I'm sorry that even though we had something special, I had to get my fix from some girl who knew nothing of what I really was. I'm sorry I slept with her, even after so much talk of waiting for marriage'"
"Lace, please...."
"I'M NOT FINISHED!"
There was that yelling he remembered.
"'I'm sorry I told all my friends about it, so that I got caught! I'm also sorry that I, stupidly, bought an engagement ring, when I obviously had no intent to keep those vows! I'm sorry I ran away instead of confronting everything like an adult. And now, I'm sorry that I'm all alone on my birthday, wondering what happened, when its all very clear.' Does that sound about right?!"
".... yeah. Yeah I guess it does."
"Well good. Because you're not the only one feeling like shit. My birthday is coming up also. And you better fucking call me on it. I'm not done with you. I have more to say, but Liz is almost here, and she'll flip shit if she knows I called you with her phone. I knew you wouldn't answer if I called on mine."
"Yeah.... I would have...."
"hmph.... well either way. You better call me. Ok? Because I'm tired of all of this.... I really am. You can go back to sleep now. I know thats what you were doing."
"Heh.... you do know me well, don't you?"
"Alot less then I realized.... goodnight."
"Goodnight.... I guess."

*Click*

Said I was going to finish it....

2009-04-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

Really want to just get this short story done, and I want it done tonight. Some of the authors talked about writing and getting your bad words out first, so I'm going to do that with a short story that for some reason wants to be told. So here it is. Kinda procrastinated on it, so the one hour time limit will either help me or kill me.

His hand were at his keyboards, but he stared blankly into the moniter. He was in no mood to write, let alone finish an entire half-book. He put his left hand into his pocket, keeping his right on his keyboard. Even when he realized his phone was in his right pocket, he refused to let his right hand leave the keyboard, and instead awkwardly reached for his phone with the hand that is not meant for the right pocket. He flipped through his contacts list.....

Ryan....
*riiing* *riiiing* "Not not busy enough to answer the phone, which means I'm not not not going to answer. So don't call again hoping I'll pick up, if I get to the damned thing late I'll call back. Got it? Alright. Peace" *beep*

*click*

He let out a sigh.

Joshua.....

*riiiing* *riiiing* "Heeeeey...... Yeah, obviously not at the phone. Probably rocking some faces or something, I don't know. Well, I do, but you don't. So suck it.

*click*

"*sigh*, so much for that....I wonder what Alice and Trey were doing."

*Riiiiing* *riiiiing* "Hey, its Aly, and if neither of us are answering its because."
"Because we're having sex!"
"Trey!.... I'm sorry, well you know what to do at the tone"
"What? they deserve to know the tru-"

*click*

"Hmm.... seems like everyone's busy. Or still mad.... guess I cant blame them. I want to call Lacy, but...." He let out another sigh, a bad habit that was only growing worse. "If the others didn't pick up, theirs no way she will."

He remembred again what his doctor said about talking to himself.

His moniter had something new appear on it, and a ring came from his speakers. Kelly was on. She was a bit older, but always wise, and always helpful. But most of all, she would atleast talk to him.

Celaj said: Hey!
Cakely said: Hi!!! Its been awhile.
Celaj said: Yeah, I suppose it has. How have you been?
Cakely said: Been doing good, finally almost done with school. Really regret it took this long. Hows Chels?
Celaj said: Shes doing fine, she moved out around last year though, got a bit tired of the city. Not sure exactly where she is now, but I know she moved near her parents. Pretty sure she wants to get close to them before its too late.
Cakely said: Hmmm..... well thats good for her. I hope she gets what shes looking for. And what about you? Any new lady friends I should know about? I know things have been weird since....
Celaj said: no, I figure I have enough problems as is.
Cakely said: and what problems would those be? Failing to meet deadlines are we? Or are you just procrastinating the inevitable. You need to talk to her. To everyone. I know you, and this is one problem you cant just ignore till it goes away.
Celaj said: And why not? Its worked for 2 years already, hasnt it?
Cakely said: Has it?
Cakely said: Anyways, today is a day for celebration.
Celaj said: Oh, it is is it?
Cakely said: Yeah, duh....
Cakely said: Today we're going to go see an awesome local band, maybe even meet some guys. ;)
Celaj said: oh.....
Cakely said: hahaha, I'm kidding with you. Happy birthday, kiddo. 25, right?
Celaj said: yeah, 25. For a second you had me worried.
Cakely said: well I'm sorry, couldn't resist. Well hey, I need to get going, room mates getting rowdy. We really are going to a concert. You have fun, but not too much, ok? Have fun!
Celaj said: yeah, dont you worry about me.... I'll be safe.....
Cakely has signed off.

"I'll sure as hell be safe alright."

He looked at his phone, just to make sure. But nothing. All it told was the time and how to unlock the damned thing, but nothing about a missed call or new message. Maybe he did need to call her? He threw it to his bed. Got up and walked to the kitchen. He had such a big house. Why such a big house? The only people who used it were guests, and they always told him how they wanted such a big house. But why? It felt lonely. He could tell it wanted that many people in it all the time. But that isn't possible, people have their own lives to go on to. Stupid big house.... it didn't get it.

He opened the fridge, a useless gesteur as he already knew what was in it. He memorized its contents long ago. If he wanted food he usually ordered or went out. The fridge was there for show. And alcohal. And ice cream. Because no matter how hard he tried, the ice cream man would not stop by his house....

He heard his phone ring. Immediatly all earthly worrys of food went away, and he ran for the thrown item.

"Hello?"
"Yes, your insurance has expired on-"
*click*

"Fucking aye... this sucks. Shes right. I do need to call her. But what do I say? I love you? I'm sorry? Please dont be mad I called? You know its my birthday?" Yet another sigh to add to his collection. "If the stupid postal system hadn't gone down I could have wrote her a letter, or a poem. An email wont do.... seems too cowardly. Same with a text message. And why am I still talking to myself!?"

His fingers traced the number to her cell phone. But instead, he ended up calling his doctor. Dr. Sotir was his name, and bad habits were his game. He had a really weird german accent that almost seemed fake, as if to make him seem better then he was at his job. He was 3 for 10, but he was nice, and his bill wasn't enormous.

"Why hello AJ, how are you doing today?"
"Pretty shitty, doc. Keep talking to myself. And this time I have no excuse to claim its me writing"
"Well, what exactly are you talking to yourself about?"
"I don't know.... just some past stuff. Ya know? Stuff I never left behind."
"I don't mean to be straightforward, but I'm low on time, but.... Perhaps you should just confront your past? Get it off of your mind, and out of your mouth.
"Its not that easy, doc, that would involve-"
"I'm really sorry, AJ, but I must be going now, this man INSISTS he can fly, and that the only reason he cant is because he has swallowed a packing peanut. Talk to you later!"

*click*

No.... he would not sigh this time. One bad habit to conquer at a time. Though he felt for the flying man. Sometimes we all feel we can do extraordinary things, we just need to get rid of our 'packing peanut'.

Sleep.....tired.....

2009-04-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

I've not got much to say that hasn't already been said over at http://xainoutax.blogspot.com/ So, you can go there (and look at pictures) and I'll just post another story. If I don't finish it here (might not) then I'll finish it tomorrow.

His hand were at his keyboards, but he stared blankly into the moniter. He was in no mood to write, let alone finish an entire half-book. He put his left hand into his pocket, keeping his right on his keyboard. Even when he realized his phone was in his right pocket, he refused to let his right hand leave the keyboard, and instead awkwardly reached for his phone with the hand that is not meant for the right pocket. He flipped through his contacts list.....

Ryan....
*riiing* *riiiing* "Not not busy enough to answer the phone, which means I'm not not not going to answer. So don't call again hoping I'll pick up, if I get to the damned thing late I'll call back. Got it? Alright. Peace" *beep*

*click*

He let out a sigh.

Joshua.....

*riiiing* *riiiing* "

(i'll finish this tomorow)

I have internets!

2009-04-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

We're here waiting to go to TT4L, so I'm kinda hungry. I'm also blagging. Yes, blagging. If I'm going to do this, i'm going to represent Xkcd.com. We're getting red packet thingys. Sti's phone ring is very annoying. Did I mention I'm hungry? I want donuts. I feel like I should be posting alot more. Oh well, I'll have more to say later.

I think I've done enough damage for now.

My Father was a service droid!

2009-04-01T20:48:00.000-05:00

I really dont know what to say. So I'll just rant about my day.

Woke up, went to school. They made us do stuff in ROTC. Joy.... After that it was pretty much a normal day. Take notes in physics, take semi-notes in Speech. Type and mess around in Web2. Yup.... oh right, afterwards went to Tacobell with Connar (Conner? not sure how its spelled) which was fun. We pretty much talked about our old bus. Fun times, fun times..... Then as soon as I got home, my brother wanted to go eat again. At which point I gorged myself. As I'm typing this, it sounds boring, so heres a story.

The crowd cheered. The music played. The confetti fell. And as the excitement settled and the music silenced, a champion stood. One who had trained day and night, sacrificed his own time, his own money, and of course, his own patience. He was the under-dog, the one know one expected to win. He was "that kid", often thought to practically be a 'by' in competitions. Yet here he stood, un-defeated, and while atleast 50 in the crowd had their eyes glaring at him, the rest praised him. The rest realized what a triumph he had made. But it still hadn't dawned on him yet. Not fully. Yes, he won. Yes, he had done what others believed to be impossible. And yes, he was the under-dog. But to get first? To win the tournament? To take the title from people he only yesterday admired, respected and revered? It was un-precedented. It was un-imaginable. It was so many other things, and yet it had happened, and that was the one thing it wasn't. Possible.

Extreme Jesus?

2009-03-31T20:59:00.001-05:00

I just realized that, thanks to my wording, I said that Jesus was an "extreme dude", which accidently made him sound like this guy
My bad, Jesus (take note, I am not anti-religious, nor am I heavily religious. I believe God and his son have a sense of humor.)

Opening day!

2009-03-31T20:24:00.001-05:00

Ok, so here we go for BEDA (Blogg Every Day of April), and I realize I'm a day early, but theirs alot I want to randomly say that I cant elsewhere, so here they are.

Making a salad with pepperoni is an idea I should have thought of years ago.

Taylor and I were talking and I brought up a good question. Did Jesus's farts smell good? Or really bad? Everything else he did in his life was extreme, why not his farts?

I think when Taylor grows up, hes going to be an awesome old incohesent blabbering man. And none of his grandchildren will appreciate it....

I'm making french frys, and the mini oven keeps making noises. I'm afraid its going to explode.....Also, on that note of my frys, I have both wavy cut and waffle cut. How do they cut waffle cut? I could rant on that for hours. For another day.....

Doctor says I need more milk. MORE OVALTINE PLEASE!!! I also got Gogurt. What am I, six? Oh, and apparently I'm 5 foot 6 now. And I've LOST weight. I dont care. I'm still telling people I way 117. (truely 112. Dont judge me, I'm not the first to lie about my weight.) Pee tests are weird.

Some phrases like "tell me about it" are taken differently when read in text message form. In a book, they had " he said sarcastically" to the end, just to clarify. Not in text message. So in book you'd either get "Tell me about it' he said as he reached under his lamp table, trying desperately to grab his gun so as to stop the old man's inchosent blabbering'" or "'Man, my day sucked'. 'Oh, tell me about it' she said, leaning in close gazing into his eyes, hoping that maybe the small shimmer of his day was her'"

See? Two completely different things.

I think I've done enough damage for the day.