Sadness

I've noticed recently, I haven't been really sad in a long time. I'll get small bouts of feeling down, or even not myself, but never really sad. Not like "my life sucks" kind of sad. I've almost gone a year with out that. And while I would love to say how great that is, my impulse to complain just started kicking in. And I'm dying for a good cry right now.

You can call my gay for that last sentence. Call me anything you like. I wont say "I don't care", but it sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to change it, or the way I'm thinking. I'm still dying for a good cry.

I think I've so highly absolved my life as the biggest drama to reach earth, that not having any in awhile is a mind fuck. For awhile, I've had this delusion of grandeur that every part of me is interesting, just nobody notices it. When in actually it probably is the exact opposite, and with no relationship problems to back up said claims, my mind is has to reach the very real conclusion that my life is boring. But I don't think I'm the only one. I've talked about this with another on multiple occasions(you know who you are ;]) and everyone seems to have their own oppinions that everything in their life is 'just so complicated'. (That last implication was part of my attempt to not name names.) Everyone likes to think that their problems are much bigger then everyone else's. And I'm probably one of the biggest victims of that.

So now, here I am, realtionship problem free, attempting to make myself HAVE relationship problems on a daily basis (though I keep it hidden, ironically. What am I playing at?!) complaining that I'm not sad. What is wrong with me?!

Now I'm ranting. And now I'm complaining about ranting. I sure do love to bitch and moan..... ok, this is off topic. So new topic time.


Today, I learned the hard way (again) that I may just be lactose intollerent. Drank two glasses of milk. And now the rest of my day has sucked. Sort of. I don't want to say it sucked, because it was actually awesome. Got the next Thursday Next book, so thats always an up. And our food is restocked. Awesome. But the constant.... 'gas expulsion' and the destroying of a poor public bathroom was not exactly part of the highlights.

I had more to talk about, but I don't want to, so NYAH!

Goodnight!