I saw one of my best friends turn 18 today. Well.... I didn't actually see it happen. That would require me hovering over her while she slept and the clock turned 12:00. CREEPY!
But I was there at her party. I got to see the people besides myself that have been there for her. The one's I hear stories of, the ones who did this, and were there for her when that happened, etc. The funny thing is, I was also apart of the group of people that did this at that time, or was this when she needed that. It felt good. To know I've been there for someone for the past few years. Even if it was just a kind word, or a warm invitation to be apart of my family. I've tried to share that with others, but she's needed it most. I don't want to get into complications, but lets just say her turning 18 relieves her of alot of unwanted stress.
I'm not here to brag about 'yeah, i'm a bad ass in her life', no. Most of those people were there for her long before, and in a much bigger way then I ever was. And I just wish I had more people like that in my life. That no matter what happens, they'll be there. Theirs a country song that touches on that subject. something like "You find out who your friends are." I like that song.
I got my graduation stuff today. That kind of scares me. My letterman across the room from me says '09'. The journal next to me says '09'. The shirt hanging on my door says '09'. And all of the stuff in the bag I got today says '09'. Its just hard to believe. I'm about to get a crash course into the real world. I've done my best to stay as immature as possible, but now I've been forced to realize that that has only destroyed my ability to transicion properly into the life after highschool. I've fucked myself over by trying to have as much fun while I could. I've made myself forgetful, lazy, indecisive, self destructive. And nothing to show for it except memories.
I'm done ranting. This isn't the part I like people reading about, it's more for myself then anyone else. So I'll try and get a story up. Even if only a few of you read them.
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is that regret, live life by the means that you make. Would you go back and change any of it. If you have regrets then change, live so that when your dying you can say i was never anything but myself
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